Urbanhomemaker

My husband Duane E. Moll passed away April 14, 2008. My family and I have been showered with hundreds of cards and emails. As I have time, I will be posting sentiments and notes from some of my most favorite cards. All the cards have been special, cherished and read over and over again.

His Journey's Just Begun

Don't think of him as gone away--
his journey's just begun,
life holds so many facets--
this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.

And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched...
for nothing loved is ever lost--
and he was loved so much.

E. Brennenman

The sentiment above was on a card sent by a former employee, Pam Palmer, who worked for us from 1998-2000. Inside the card Pam writes a very touching tribute to Duane:

Dear Marilyn,

I am deeply sorrowful for you and the kids. A friend kindly forwarded the information regarding Duane's sudden passing to me last week. I can only tell you that your whole family has meant so much to me. I feel as though you are part of me/family and the sudden loss of Duane's life chokes me up too.

I had called and spoke with Duane a few months ago to give TUH my new name and address, so I am glad, his voice still is in my memory.

I know that the work load will increase for you, so that causes me to pray more for you, I wish I could help more than that, but God will provide you with all that you need. Pam

Another:

Dear Marilyn,

I wanted you to know ow sorry Iwas to hear about the loss of your husband. Know that our family has been praying for your family.

I also wanted to let you know how grateful to God I am for using your husband to give us spiritual help/advice regarding our daughter Grace. God blessed that and the principles he conveyed to u are ones we always keep in the forefront of our minds. We are thankful to him for lovingly pointing us to Christ, keeping our eyes on Him and encouraging us in the faith.

I know you are thankful for having had such a Godly husband and we are thankful to have had contact with him, though not on a daily basis but one that has made such a large impact on our lives.

To God be the Glory!

May God's grace abound to you and your family and abundantly bless you,

Your sister in Christ,

Jennifer

Grieving through Mother's Day

Many of you know my husband Duane, age 56, died suddenly and unexpectedly on April 14. I am now a widow and single mom of three. My youngest daughter Mary is 14 and still at home. Together with my children we are trying to pick up the pieces and keep Duane's vision for our family business, The Urban Homemaker, going. A friend has urged me to share some thoughts and memories on my blog.

This year, Mother's Day will be most bittersweet for me. It will be the first Mother's Day in nearly 25 years that my husband won't be making me breakfast in bed, one of my most favorite family traditions. My first Mother's Day was also bittersweet in another way because I was very pregnant, in fact, two week overdue in delivering my first baby girl, Laura Christine.

My girls, Laura and Mary, and I have planned my first Mother's Day, as a widow and a single mom, to focus our energies and thoughts positively on memories of good times with Duane. We are going to be pulling together pictures from my “archives” of pictures and gathering mementos of Duane for a Memorial Album. Yesterday, I stumbled on some cards he gave me during our engagement. In one card he wrote a little poem, a portion of which follows:

Marilyn, you're good for me,
and I thank God the more.
Together we'll join lives as one,
and live life evermore.

This ring I give to you,
a symbol and a trust.
And pray it will endure,
as God knows it must.

I love you, I do.
No truer words, can I give to you.

My husband was not perfect, but I thank God for his love and faithfulness for nearly 25 years of marriage.

As I mentioned last week, I have received literally hundreds of cards and emails sending sympathies and condolences. Many of you have taken time to write about your memories of Duane and encouragement for moving through the grieving process. Ultimately, I think the outpouring of love that I and my family have received will be the foundation of a future book on hospitality.

One memorable card quoted Saint Francis of Assisi who said: “Preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words.” I love this simple quotation because Duane was a quiet and gentle person, and I had no idea how many lives he touched.

I wanted to share a few of my favorite comments.

Linda of North Caroline writes:

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory, no one can steal.” Linda encourages me to “let the tears come, let them water my soul.”

Karen writes:

“Your husband is not far from you. Heaven is very near, nearer than we imagine. He is now in possession of the mansion that is prepared for him, a glorious inheritance. We pray God will provide you with peace and strength to get through the valley and we know he will.”

Mrs. H from Illinois writes:

“Duane has always been thoughtful and helpful with our orders. We will miss him, and know the loss for you is irreplaceable.”

Becky of Colorado writes:

“I can't tell you how much I have appreciated the work you and Duane and the girls have done, and I have loved watching your business grow and develop into a truly needed company and ministry over the years. I'm sure thousands of hearts have been touched and blessed by you all.”

These precious cards and emails continue to strengthen me and encourage me, “ For you have need of endurance, so that you may do the will of God and receive what is promised.” Hebrews 10:35

I struggle with the fact that there is no more earthly husband made of flesh and blood to cuddle with or embrace. That day, my lifelong friend Connie Wilson's card came in the mail with a sentiment written by Donna Fargo, a country music singer. The sentiment says in part:

“What if the spirit of your loved one has not left you, but has moved inside your heart to live, never to be forgotten? Once we love someone, that person becomes a part of us and remains with us for as long as our memory of them lasts. Treasure your memories now. Try to focus on the time you did have. Let the blessings that you shared bathe you with love, encourage you with comfort, and inspire you to go on.”

Thank you Karen, Mrs. H, Becky, Connie and hundreds of others who took time to write beautiful and encouraging notes of sympathy and encouragement to myself and my family. Again, I emphasize that each note is read, cherished, and saved.

When life literally vanishes in seconds before your very eyes I believe one can choose to count your many blessings or not which reminds me of an old hymn called “Count Your Blessings”, written by Johnson Oatman, Jr.. I have clung to these wonderful words through other trials over the years as well. The first stanza goes like this:

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings name them one by one,
and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Count your blessings, name them one by one and so on.

Duane and I go out for a big night on the town to celebrate in January 2000.

This Mother's Day I have many blessings to count. I am so thankful for my three healthy and wonderful children, food in my pantry and freezer, and most importantly a mighty, most loving Heavenly Father and Husband. Here is a small collection of verses from Psalms that I have clung to these last few weeks:

“He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

“The Lord is good to all, and his compassion is over all that he has made.” (Psalm 145:9)

“Who is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” (Psalm 34:17-18)

“The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know thy name put their trust in thee, for thou, O Lord, has not forsaken those who seek thee.” (Psalm 9:9-10)

A Tribute to my late husband Duane E Moll

Ed Note: The eulogy read by Gary Moll at the Memorial Service on April 19th, 2008 at Paonia Friends Church

Duane Edward Moll was born to Edward Carl and Anne Elaine Moll on January 4^th, 1952 in the Roxborough area of Philadelphia, PA. He was named after a dentist and a friend. He was their first born son and was followed by four brothers, Ricky, Gary, Edward Jr., and Robbie Moll. Ricky passed away in 1960, possibly from cancer.

Duane grew up in Roxborough and spent his time involved with school, church, band, and hanging out with his brothers. His mother is quoted as saying “I don’t care what you boys do, just don’t tell me about it.” His Uncle Les taught him clarinet and Duane played in the high school band as well as in his Uncle Les’ band. He showed great talent towards music.

Duane graduated from Roxborough High School in 1969 and went on to Penn State University. He studied forestry and graduated in 1974. He had a variety of jobs in Philadelphia including carpet installation, City of Philadelphia, and Keystone Lawn Care.

In 1973 Duane, and two of Duane’s good friends, Richie Blinn, and Matthew Cooper, took a cross country trip to Colorado where they explored places like the Monument, and Rocky Mountain National Park, and camped in Chief Hosa. His love for the mountains and the wilderness was awakened during this trip. In 1981 he took a rafting trip on the Snake River in Idaho and decided to move out west. In January of 1982 he moved to Denver and tried to find a job in forestry and found a job working for the City of Lakewood.

On February 14^th, 1982 he met Marilyn June Mitton during a Valentine’s Day dinner at Corona Presbyterian Church in Denver. Duane liked to retell the story by saying “I saw an angel come wafting down the ramp and she sat next to me.” Marilyn and Duane spent time together as friends and officially started dating in September of 1982. Some of their favorite activities were bike riding, Bible studies, and retreats with their church.

On Thanksgiving of 1982 Duane proposed and the two were engaged. On Christmas Eve of that year he presented her with a ring and they made the announcement to their families. Marilyn met Duane’s family that Christmas as well and after her proper New England upbringing, it was quite a shock to meet the rowdy Moll family.

On June 4^th, 1983 Duane and Marilyn were married in Corona Presbyterian Church. They honeymooned in Florida and returned to Denver where Duane was working for Wilhelm Lawn Care. Just 11 months later Duane became a first time father with the birth of his daughter Laura Christine Moll. He was convinced that his first born would be a son and the first words out of his mouth were “look at him, honey, look at him.” However, he was still pleasantly surprised to find that his son was really a precious little girl.

In 1988 Duane became a father once again with the birth of Stephen Matthew Moll on July 14^th and again on August 9^th, 1993 with the birth of another daughter, Mary Elizabeth Moll.

Duane always wanted to have his own business and started Horticultural Concepts in 1990. Since 1986 Marilyn had been baking her own bread with a mill and mixer that Duane had bought for her. She began teaching bread baking classes and selling mills and mixers as a hobby business. Duane named her hobby The Urban Homemaker and in 1993 her business had grown so much that Duane quit his job and the two of them ran The Urban Homemaker as a family business. Duane loved that their business was run out of their home so that he was able to be closer to his wife and kids.

Duane and Marilyn had desired to move out of Denver and live in the country for many years. In 2000, customers of their business, Lloyd and Jodie Wright, invited Duane and his family to visit their home in Paonia. Duane was planning on moving his family to Pennsylvania to be closer to his ailing mother in December of 2000 but in November of 2000 the Molls visited Paonia and as they left Duane said “Gee, if we weren’t moving to Pennsylvania, I’d sure consider Paonia.”

After living in Pennsylvania for a year, Duane’s mother passed away and he began to pray that God would provide a place for his family to live. In 2002 Duane and Marilyn purchased their home on Lamborn Mesa in Paonia and felt that this home was a perfect place for their family and business. They moved from Pennsylvania to Paonia in September 2002.

In August of 2003 Duane took his family to a physical and spiritual health conference in called Be In Health. This conference was significant to Duane’s spiritual walk as it brought him to a deeper understanding of God’s desire to bring His people to physical, spiritual, and emotional freedom. Duane desired to lead his family to greater depths of spiritual healing and wholeness.

In 2003 Duane began leading Bible studies in his home and they studied the books of James and Deuteronomy, spiritual healing, and Disappointment with God. Duane was also involved with Gideon’s and loved being able to make Gideon’s presentations at local churches as well as giving sermons in his church. Many people said that Duane should have been a pastor, and while Duane was passionate about teaching and discipling his family and friends, he desired to be a light in the business world.

Duane loved exploring and discovering the beauty of western Colorado. He took his family camping every year and made sure to take his children on father-daughter and father-son trips. He was devoted to his wife. On Valentine’s Day Duane gave Marilyn a card in which he said “Nothing means more than my marriage to you.” Duane and Marilyn would have celebrated their 25^th wedding anniversary this June and since September of 2007 Duane had been planning and praying about how to give his wife a beautiful and memorable anniversary trip to Hawaii.

His spiritual understanding and relationship with God inspired and touched many people. Duane had a vision for 15 years for the creation of "The Christian Home and Family Institute" that would teach people that the gospel was not just for fire insurance but that it was for all aspects of life as well as practical living skills. Duane was an exceptionally godly man and was dedicated to helping his family, friends, and church come to greater spiritual realizations of God and God’s love for his people.

I hope to upload the Powerpoint video presentation shown during the sharing time of Duane's memorial service as soon as I have technological helps.

In Memory of my husband Duane E. Moll

Ready to Try Narration?

Moms Mentoring Moms

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Hot Cross Buns - Good Friday Tradition

Hot cross buns! Hot cross buns!
One a penny two a penny - Hot cross buns
If you have no daughters, give them to your sons
One a penny two a penny - Hot cross buns

Hot cross buns were sold in the street to the cry of "Hot cross buns!" around the period in English history dating back to the seventeenth and eighteenth century.

A hot cross bun is a type of sweet spiced bun made with currants and leavened with yeast. It has a cross on the top which might be made in a variety of ways. Using confectioner's frosting, is the most common way.

According to one source, hot cross buns are traditionally eaten on Good Friday, with the cross standing as a symbol of Christ and the resurrection. Have fun with the children and enjoy the process of being together in the kitchen. Here's my recipe for the buns:

2/3 cup dried currants
3-1/2 to 4 cups whole wheat flour (or half bread flour and half whole wheat
2 TB yeast
1/2 to 1 tsp cinnamon
3/4 cup milk
1/2 cup cooking oil
1/3 cup sugar or honey
1 tsp salt
3 eggs
1 slightly beaten egg white
Frosting (recipe follows)

Cover currants with very hot water. Let stand about 10 minutes or up to one hour at room temperature. Drain well. In a large mixing bowl combine 2 cups flour, yeast, and cinnamon. Heat milk, oil, sugar or honey, and salt until warm (115 to 120�). Add to the dry mixture. Allow to sponge for about 15 minutes if time allows. Add eggs, one at a time. By hand or mixer, stir in currants and enough remaining flour to make a soft dough. Knead until the gluten is developed by mixer or on a lightly floured surface until smooth and elastic, about 6-10 minutes.

Shape into ball. Place in greased bowl. Turn once to grease top. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise in warm place until doubled in bulk, about 1-1/2 hours. Punch down. Cover and let rest 10 minutes.

Divide into 18 pieces. Form smooth balls. Place on greased baking sheet 1-1/2 inches apart. Cover; let rise until double, 30 to 45 minutes. Cut shallow cross in each. Brush tops with egg white. Bake in preheated 375� oven 12 -15 minutes. Remove from baking sheet. Use confectioner's Frosting to make a "cross" on the bun.

Combine these ingredients together and add milk or water as needed to get a good pouring consistency for the frosting. Place the frosting in a small zip-lock sandwich baggie, clip the corner and use the baggie to squeeze the frosting over the cooled buns in a cross shape. Small children will enjoy this process even if it gets a little messy!

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Contest for Homestead Bloggers interested in Tips for Busy Moms

A Beginner's Guide to Baking Bread

What I Wish I'd Known

When Cindy's first told me what the topic would be, I thought, “What a great topic. This will be easy to talk about!” First I will talk about how to bake bread and why its so great, how to get organized, how to homeschool on a shoestring, what I wish I had known about child training and all the other homemaking skills I have learned over the years.

Then lots of scripture verses came into my mind that God has used to mold me, direct me, and encourage me over the years. My talk turned out to be more about my spiritual journey and what I wish I'd known spiritually. Possibly many of my newsletter subscribers might be more interested in “What I wished I had known spiritually” rather than what I know about baking bread, menu planning, cooking for wellness, etc.

For example, I talked about what I wished I'd known about ungodly perfectionism. What I know now, is that allowing perfectionism and comparisons to go on in our mind is quite a prevalent and insidious, maybe even rampant problem among Christian women.

Regardless of your personal struggles, I believe it is very hard for women to see that an effective tool in the enemy's arsenal is designed to keep our eyes off of God and on our circumstances.

This evil attack takes place in our minds and seeks to destroy us, our families, our joy, and our peace just through our thoughts.

The thoughts go through our mind over and over, accusing us and discouraging us. These thoughts can literally make us sick. Click here if you are interested in reading the text of my presentation, What I Wish I'd Known, or listening to a complimentary recording of the presentation with follow-up discussion.

In addition, Cindy has generously offered to share her Mommy Care Package Just for Mom, a complimentary collection of six talks by Cindy designed to pamper and encourage moms. Great listening for your Ipods and MP3 players!