I have been on a journey now for my entire life, and I did not even know it until about five years ago. It has been a journey to become the woman God created me to be. There have been curves in the road, barricades and detours. So many times, I was not even close to the right path, but I know the Lord was watching me and trying to get my attention. I am thankful for His faithfulness and the prayers of many I may never know.
I am blessed today to be on the closest path to fulfilling my purpose that I have ever been on. I am privileged to stay at home and train my children in the Lord and an uncompromising education. I am nowhere near where I should be or could be had I been counting it such a privilege to be a wife and mother since I came to the Lord in 1988.
It is hard to admit that I still struggle daily with being a cooperative and pleasant wife of a very hard-working husband. It is a journey I am still on. I do not know why God deemed it my lot to have these wonderful children, but there is not a time 
I am not thankful. That sounds impossible, but I always end my thoughts, even after frustrations, with how sweet my child is and how much I truly love him or her. That is only from God, because it has not always been this way!
I asked myself for the first ten years – and sometimes I asked others, “Why did God give me three girls first?”. I am not sure I can yet fully answer that question, but it has been proven many times how blessed I am to have three daughters first in our large family. These girls are such a blessing, a joy, and my best girlfriends. I am honored to be their mother.
As I said, we did not really have an understanding of woman and her design and purpose until about nine years ago. God spoke into our hearts about having children. He showed me in His Word why He gives us children and what happens when He gives us children. We started trusting Him in that, and it changed our lives. Shortly after this new-found understanding, we went through some very difficult trials that caused us to search and be confident in God’s Word alone. The things we learned in the next two years put us further into God’s plan for our lives.
At this time, and each year before, I had no idea what a wife really was. I mean, I understood that I was Matt’s partner as a married woman, but I did not understand my Biblical role, and even moreso, I did not understand what that Biblical role of a woman meant to my husband and children. I’m not sure I do yet. I do, in my brain and my heart, but my flesh is unwilling to let me remember sometimes still. ugh. Needless to say, we have stuck with each other through thick and thin, but not in a God-honoring way many times. Only by God’s grace can I shake the feminist bonds and become the lovely woman God created me to be.
Five years ago, I got a hold of a different homeschooling philosophy through such resources as Educating the Wholehearted Child and The Charlotte Mason Companion. Then, three years ago, I found a few sites that promoted a Biblical life. Sadly, that was all new to me. I had been a Christian for fifteen years, but did not have a clear understanding of denying my rights for His. I started reading my Bible differently, and God put a hunger in me to be a Godly wife. I no longer read it from my perspective, but from God’s. It wasn’t the world’s or the Church’s point of view I saw. I finally saw how different Scriptures I had heard or read over and over related to each other. It was as though I understood a new language. I understood that God has a specific personality and is steady. I can see, in His Word, what God thinks about things. He told us, and it is in there, if we look and listen. The Old Testament became more real to me and more a part of the New Testament than it had ever been.
I found some family resources and heard what I had already heard preached many times, but now it seeped into my spirit, and I soaked it all up. I was ecstatic. I was thrilled to finally ’see’ what the Bible meant. I wanted to learn it all and do it all, because we had lost so much time in the first fifteen years I had known the Lord. On the other hand, my girls hated it. I was so full of zeal for this new-found understanding of womanhood, I didn’t want to wait for them to catch up. There were some deep-seated worldly ideals that we had allowed in, and it took quite the strength and perseverance from all of us to get them out. Slowly, though, things changed in all of our hearts.
I put the family on a schedule that helped us do things we had never done before. We cleaned and cooked and homeschooled in an order that allowed for time for other things. 
We started doing things that the world no longer holds in high regard. We were so thrilled to learn them and enjoy each other and have something to show for it. We were blessed to make quilts and include it as a part of their learning. We started sewing. We spent time scrapbooking together. We had home births with our sixth and seventh children and welcomed two new sons into the family together as a family affair. We bought two goats and became interested in homesteading. There were still rebellion issues with the girls, but God walked us through them. He kept us close through the anger and hurt and brought us closer than we had ever been. He had a purpose.
When the girls and I started blogging in April 2006, my intention was for them to do weekly assignments for English or Research, but, before I knew it, a monster had been created… or two… or three. To this day I am amazed at how God used blogging to shape their perspectives and cause them to research and write things that I never could have anticipated or assigned. They wanted to blog, and they came up with topics on their own. I was quality control, editor, and their personal confidante in many topics, from the silly daily things to heart-breaking issues to deep Biblical posts.
God has allowed blogging to be a large part of our training our daughters. Having the three of them so close in age has allowed them to play off of each other in their beliefs, thoughts and silliness. They can be each others’ biggest heroes and biggest thorns! But, oh! I can see the love and integrity and compassion and fervor they each share for each other. 
And for their friends! Real life created many opportunities for reflection and soul-searching, and allows them to do it inwardly and openly at the same time. They have grown from the inside out.
Some days, we talk about the Bible and how it relates to our lives for hours. We revisit Scriptures as we serve dinner and clean or watch the Littles. Out of the blue, we can start a conversation about God or His plan or any number of things in His Word and see how it relates to our lives. Are we doing what God has for us? Are our attitudes or thoughts honoring God? Are we being too harsh or judgmental? All of these questions are open conversations in our home, and God uses them to shape us and open our eyes to His truths. And we are blessed.
I always wanted a boy first. I wanted a boy for three consecutive pregnancies. I could not see the future. I did not know what a blessing girls are. I did not understand what it is to be a woman, to train young women, to teach them how to become women. I did not foresee all of the times we would cook together and laugh and cry and scrapbook. All of the heartaches and tears. The smiles and fears that we overcome with the Word of God. And now, to have two daughters who are almost adults, to watch all of my girls, at ages 18, 17, 14, 8, and 1, just love on each other; it is such an honor. It warms my heart in a way that I know only God could have foreseen.
I do not deserve the unconditional love that my daughters show me on a daily basis. Or that any of my children show me, for that matter. I am not always the best example of gentleness, love or holiness. I do not always start my day off in the Word as I would like to do. We have by no means arrived, nor am I saying that our particular journey is the only way to become who God has created woman to be. I am still so sinful, and I do not feel worthy of so many blessings as God has given me. It is a good thing that neither my goodness nor my sinfulness is the measure by which God gives me His grace. It is a good thing He measures it out much more than any of us deserves.
Learning that truth in the past few years has allowed me to look at the role of a woman, a wife, and a mother differently. It is not self that I should look to apply the blessings in Scriptures to. It is not my perspective that is important. It is God’s. My perspective is important in shaping what I believe, but looking at the Word through His eyes is what I need to do. It is the only way I can show God to my children. It is the only way I can stop stomping my foot and demanding my way over my husband’s or my children’s. It is the only way I can be an example of a woman of God, Help Meet to my husband and lover of my children. I know it is my lifelong journey, and I want to fulfill this purpose. And, we have by no means arrived, nor am I saying that our particular journey is the only way to become who God has created woman to be.
Last year I opened a blog on homesteadblogger entitled Training Daughters, Teaching Wives. My intention was to blog about things we had learned or were learning on this journey we have made in becoming Godly women. We were going to be reading Created To be his HelpMeet together, and I thought we could post about it on there. Though we do not blog on it regularly, the TDTW blog has become a little blog compilation of some of our posts,
Instead of worrying about keeping up the blog, I created the Training Daughters, Teaching Wives blogroll. The TDTW blogroll is for moms training their daughters in the Biblical admonishment of training our daughters in the Word and for women teaching wives in the Titus 2 admonishment for the older to teach the younger. Of course, as we train our daughters, we will begin to teach them about being a Godly wife.
We have many wonderful blogs of on the blogroll already. If you are interested in joining the TDTW blogroll please contact me. Adding the blogroll to your blog will not automatically add you to the blogroll itself! I will contact you with the code after taking a look at your blog. 
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Here are a some posts from some of the mothers on the Teaching Daughters, Training Wives blogroll. I know you will enjoy them:
Kate at A Simple Walk: Teaching My Daughters to Love a Life at Home
Sally at Diamonds in the Rough: For Mom
Robin at Robin’s Egg Blue: Titus 2 Schedule
Tamara at Training Hearts: Training Daughters, Reaping the Harvest
If you are interested in visiting more Mothers and daughters on the TDTW blogroll, it is on my sidebar.
blessings!
Tags: Biblical, christian, feminine, feminism, God’s will, Help Meet, teaching, titus 2, training daughters, wife
Jacque Dixon