Have you heard of the Pandora Project?
For those of you on or near your computer often, this is really neat.
You tell them a favorite song or musical artist, and they find others who share the same musical qualities, sort of "guesstimating" what you'll like. I've found a few "new favorites" already!
I am SUCH a pathetic blogger!! More than TWO months have passed...how did that happen??
WELL. So much to tell.
First, my hips are still feeling great, so that is a true answer to prayer.
Second...BIG NEWS!
Actually, it's quite small, right now. :)
We are thrilled, and even the littles seem to understand what's going on this time! They are so excited, too.
I'm having tremendous morning sickness, but counting that as an enourmous blessing, after 3 miscarriages.
This new blessing was the final impetus in prompting us to leave Northeastern Indiana (which, despite its beauty has been quite a burden on us...so my husband found a new job back in our home town of Wichita. We are excited to be back with our dear extended family, a new church (my brother is pastoring his own now, Hallelujah!) and my dear midwife...who would be, incidentally, illegal in Indiana.
We were originally scheduled to move in late October/early November, which would allow us to enjoy one last (and first!) Indiana summer, but last Monday the new employers called and asked him to begin sooner...much sooner. So we are leaving in 10 days!
We will stay at my parents home (for as short a time as possible!) until we find our own home.
We have a homebirth to prepare for, so I'm praying we find something soon!
My husband's new job affords him the opportunity to work out of our home while still providing, and for that we are ever so grateful.
His current job is about as NON-family friendly as it gets!
Pray for us if you think of it...I may not be on too much for a while longer...packing, moving, living at home (gulp!) and finally settling in...y'all will be the first to know how it all goes!
:)
Despite all my best efforts to remain calm and worry-free, these last few weeks have been tough.
I awoke early yesterday to spend time with the Lord and sat patiently in the doctor's office, talking continually to God and assuring Him that I wanted HIS WILL to be done and not my own. That I would take whatever He would dish out with an extra-large heaping of grace and dignity.
Imagine my surprise when the doctor came in and said the MRI was normal, and (despite all those nasty words they have thrown around the last month: cancer, lupus, avascular necrosis, ruptured disc...) my diagnosis was: bursitis.
I was actually not just a little disgruntled. I felt like I was being blown off again, as if they couldn't discover the true cause of my pain so they just came up with something so I'd stop bothering them.
But researching it later, I found that bursitis can be a chronic and extremely painful condition.
They gave me a strong cortisone injection, which was unpleasant and leaves a very sore spot, but yields amazing results. I am WALKING today! No limp, no pain. I even rain to my car in the rain today, and not a single twinge! (Tell me where to get this stuff and I'll buy a case, haha!)
I do need to rest for a few more weeks and continue my medication, but it is wonderful to be off the pain medication, mild as it was. I feel like a fog has lifted off me. (Why couldn't they diagnose me 15 months ago, I wonder??)
I am allowed to start exercising again in just two weeks, as long as the pain doesn't return, and I start a Biggest Loser style competition tomorrow. I'm very excited for this, because shedding some extra pounds will help take the burden off my hips.
Most of all I'm praising our merciful Heavenly Father that He chose to preserve me once again, though I'm the most miserable of sinners, and give me yet another fresh start, and this one, pain-free.
Amen!
You see, this is why I resisted blogging for so long! I can never think of anything clever to say!
I had my MRI, which went without a hitch. The next day they called me back in for a sedimentation rate blood test - which, in my understanding is a general blood test which detects a general "illness" factor - which could be cancer, lupus or a number of other things - nothing specific - but I've not heard anything back from the doctor (bad or good) so I'm assuming it's nothing awful - at least from that test - or they would have called me.
I haven't really shared that much "personal" information on this blog - ironic, because that's what a blog really is - but I'm somewhat a personal person. I usually like to know with whom I'm sharing before I start.
But I'm making an exception today and coveting your prayers.
I'm in pain. Don't mean to be a whiner, but it's really starting to wear on me. My left hip started hurting - only occasionally at first - about 15 months ago. I went to an OB at the suggestion of my homebirth midwife, since I had delivered our daughter just three months prior. He gave me Advil and sent me along with the unspoken message of "if you had used a REAL doctor, this wouldn't have happend." I was annoyed. But worse, I was hurting. And Advil didn't help.
I coped with the pain through the summer and fall, and when we moved to Indiana, now 9 months of hurting later, the pain was often and often severe. I went back to a doctor, who ordered a series of blood tests, searching for a hormonal cause. They all came back negative. He offered to put me on high dose birth control pills, which I refused on moral and physical grounds, but moreover, on the grounds of "simply bad medicine" -- since when is "hey, ya never know, it might help!" a reason to prescribe something with such awful potential side effects, nevermind its abortifacient properties?
I began herbal treatments, which also availed no relief.
What was wrong with me???
Finally, last week, simply unable to walk, I begged for another appointment and, got the on-call doctor. That was a blessing - she immediately ordered a series of x-rays and some blood work. They believe that I am in the early stages of avascular necrosis. For some unknown reason, the ball of my hip joint is simply dying and collapsing. This causes severe pain and often cannot be stopped....except by a total hip replacement.
I saw a specialist yesterday and have a full MRI on Thursday morning to confirm this prognosis...or to see if it is spinal trouble instead of- or in addition to - the hip pain. They took spinal x-rays yesterday, and the doctor beileves there may be trouble there, also.
But there is more cause for my prayer request than this. They have told me that these conditions are extremely rare for a healthy person under thirty (which I am) - and so they are testing for a number of affecting conditions, including lupus and cancer. My first thoughts are of my children, that I would be here and healthy as they grow, and that the Lord would see fit to bless us with more. It is already difficult to keep my home, and chase my energetic 18 month old sweetie.I don't want to run a marathon...I just want to be normal again.
My God is the God Most High. He can heal me if He chooses, and if He does not, I will seek His strength as I walk the path He has laid for me.
"I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted.
You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.
"You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.'
My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes."
Job 42:2-6
Our three-year old, Noah, has some hearing trouble, and a slight speech delay. He can't make the sounds [k] or [g] yet. We do therapy at home every day.
Here was a funny conversation from this morning:
Mom: Noah, where's your (some random) book?
Noah: It's in the tar.
Mom: It's in the car.
Noah: in the tar.
Mom: c..c...car.
Noah: c...c...tar.
Mom: c...c... c...ar.
Noah: (long pause and a mischeivous smile) It's in the van.
Our 6-year old, Carter, is also a hoot, via this conversation yesterday.
Carter: Mom, what's for lunch?
Mom: Soup.
Carter: What kind?
Mom: Chicken noodle.
Carter: Homemade? Or the other kind?
Mom: What other kind?
Carter: You know, Cannibals!
Mom: (laughing hysterically) Carter, do you know what a cannibal is?
Carter: No.
Mom: It's a person that eats other people!
Carter: (shocked) They put people in our soup?? I just want the homemade.
Wow! I have been inundated with e-mails and questions from Homestead bloggers in the last week - humorous because I started this blog as a way to jounral anonymously and have somehow attracted a little crowd! Y'all humble me! But I am happy to oblige you and hope I can answer your questions. The most frequent seems to be "What is Plain?" And so I will begin, as time allows, a little series on the "tenents" of plaindom.
Thanks to all the readers...you make a country girl feel good!!
!
I have had a number of people, all of whom, like me, are interested in simplifying their lives -- decluttering homes, souls and minds, following old paths and building communities of faith -- tell me that Voluntary Simplicity by Duane Elgin is a fantastic book and a must read. It was on my library list for some time, and it's turn in the reading rotation came this week.
If I had the phone numbers of every person who told me to read this book, I would call them all today and ask one simple question: What were you thinking?
The book looks like a winner. Large letters on the front cover tout "Toward a Way of Life that is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Rich."
But wait.
This is not a book on how to simplify your life. It is a 240-essay on the current decline of Western Civilization, and how those of us with an "excessive birth rates" - equalling or even surpassing (Gasp!) those of poor countries like those in Africa and South America - - and those of us who (Gasp!) maintain biased and "sexist" male-female patterns in our relationships will be unable to integrate both our inner and outer aspects of existence into a satisfying and purposeful whole. Poor us!
He analyzes simplicity from a religious standpoint - bringing in quotes from Jesus to the Mahatma - perhaps in order to make us feel that we will be more spiritual if we simplify.
However, his "contemporary expression" of Christian simplicity is quoted from the 1973 Shakertown Pledge ."I commit myself to lead and ecologically sound life," and "I commit myself to share my personal wealth with the world's poor."
What ever happened to Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Self?
I am for leading an ecologically sound life, but I do not feel compelled to do so because Emerson said so.
The book goes on to share the findings of a long term study done on those who were already simplifying their lives and what simplicity meant to them. Elgin's point in all this, I believe, is that simplicity means so many things to many people. I was annoyed by this however, because Elgin's name was on the byline - not "100 random liberals from the 1970's".
Finally, the book ended with a long section on the decline of western civilization - turns out we're in the "Autumn of Cynicism" and if we don't act quickly with major grassroots political change, we might hit the Winter of Despair. Which, to quote Dave Barry, sounds like a fine name for a band.
Not to be too critical (is it too late for that?) I did agree with his assessment of the television. He makes the point that modern television has our country in a hypnosis of consumerism and teaches continuously about lifestyle and values that are the "norm" for society - and the norm is causing ecological damage. It is teaching as much by what it is teaching as by what it is lacking. I disagree however, with his conclusion: We need entertainment that teaches alternate views and gives us alternate role models. I say we need to throw all the television sets out the window. I'd throw mine out first, but we don't have one.
What was lacking for me - what I was hoping for in this book and never found - was some kind of ACTION one might take to become simpler. We live a fairly simple life and it is getting simpler each day. He gave a sort of round about and rather fear centered prognosis about our current state of affairs, ecologically speaking, but never shared any concrete ways to simplify (except perhaps, a list of "tend-to's" - Simpletons (my term, not his) tend to: Eat a healthier diet, find alternate modes of transportation, spend less on trendy clothes...But these tend-to's were compiled by his analysis of people who were ALREADY simple.
And so, I give Elgin's book a 1/4 star on a 5 star scale. Don't read this book. Throw your TV out the window. Two SIMPLE ways you can simplify your life.
If you are interested in reading a book that is written in a heart-felt, practical way and chock full of unashamedly plain suggestions for a simpler life, try one of my favorites: The Plain Reader, edited by Scott Savage. It is the book that gave a name to the path our hearts were yearning for: Plain.
This, being my first critique, motivated me to change my booklist on the left: Books I'm currently reading (and may review in the future) are on my nightstand. Books I love and wholeheartedly suggest you read are on the bookshelf. Books like Voluntary Simplicity go straight into the compost pile...at least it'll be good for something come planting time.
[Originally Posted: March 18, 2006]
My mother says that farming's in my blood. My great-grandfather farmed, as did his father. She has fond memories of playing on the rope swing in the barn and feeding the chickens. Before my great-grandmother went crazy, that is.
I grew up in a farm town, but the main points I understood about farming, growing up, were that 1) school started late in our district because kids were needed to help with the harvest and 2) I hate the smell of alfalfa.
I grew in South Central Kansas, with rolling fields of wheat where my backyard ended. Beyond that was a lovely little tree lined creek, ironically named the Euphrates - a minor tributary of the Ninnescah River. To the north was a large grain elevator where we would have contests to see who could stand in the tunnels long enough. On the windy plains, eight seconds was enough to win you a prize.
No, I did not grow up farming. But the country was calling me home.
I married a moutain boy from upstate New York in 1998, and his military career took us on a mini-tour through the central United States. Arizona, Northeastern Kansas, Missouri, Colorado and finally back home near Wichita, but in a suburb.
He did not grow up smelling the dirt like I did, but he was afforded freedoms to roam and explore, and we were sad that our boys, both so young then, were confined to a muddy fenced in yard - and then ever under our paranoid eyes.
On the weekends we loved to "take a drive" and jot down the addresses of houses for sale or rent. After a year and a half of "enduring" the noise of the train crossing not 300 yards from our house (both day and night) we searched in earnest for our little piece of God's country, not exactly knowing what we would do with it when we found it. I knew I wanted a cow, whom I would call Ruby. A Jersey. And chickens perhaps. I would sketch the grounds of the homestead, the house, the dream of self-sufficiency and Christian stewardship and it was wonderful on paper.
We found a few lovely farm homes...usually situated on bogged down flood plains, or we would find dark, rich, loamy acreage with a working barn and chicken coop to boot...and a home with very little roof left on it. We were picky. We were poor.
One day my husband came running upstairs from the computer - which seemed to be always tuned into Realtor.com or Homesteader Life - and said he had found a beautiful home on 5 acres about 45 minutes into the country. We visited that night. It was perfect.
My husband saw the inside the next day, and with my blessing - without having ever even seen the inside - he made an offer. It was accepted. We sold our house in a record two days, which confirmed to us our decision was God's will.
We were back alongside the Ninnescah, about 10 miles west of where I was raised.
Our dream life was about to begin...what could possibly go wrong?...
[Originally posted March 11, 2006]
Dearest readers (I know there are about 4 of you out there!),
Thanks for your patience with me - obviously, The Borrowed Farm has been going through major tribulation - all due to my lack of knowledge of all things technical. I finally scrapped it all and started over, and I think it's finally working now.
I lost your comments, sorry to say. Thanks for not giving up on me!!