South of the Gnat Line


April 10, 2006

Summer Shoe Rules

Straight from my email inbox from one of my Southern Sisters ~ I just couldn't stand the thought of any of y'all being banished, socially, for the ENtire Summer (pronounced "Summa").

 

"Just a friendly reminder, it's that time of the year again!!

Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:

As a member of the Diva Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back in to place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes look like they've been dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get an even better one.

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals...

For all our sakes, please don't keep this to yourself - pass it on to other Sisters."

 

___________________

 

The only additional rule is that, heah in the South, we do NOT weah white (heavy on the long I) shoes until Easter and only up until Labor Day.........yes, that is the way we do it down heah!

 

We don't care what the fashion experts say every year - this is the South.

 

Period.

 

The End.

 

 

;-)

hkj

 

 

 

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April 10, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Ilona
This is an important reminder : ) I can't promise I'll visit a beauty school but I'll do my best to follow the other rules... Summer is still very far from here, though. It snowed again today... but it's above freezing now so spring is coming! Have a nice day!

Ilona
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April 10, 2006 - I love it....

Posted by DonnaJoy
I am guilty of getting ready for church yesterday morning and put my sandles on and then painted my toes - cuz only a few showed!!!!
Bless....
Donna
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April 10, 2006 - Shoes

Posted by Greenberry
This is straight from my grandma's school of thought!
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April 13, 2006 - Sandals

Posted by Spunky
I'm going sandal shopping for our trip to South Carolina. I'll bring your post along about what to look for!
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April 15, 2006 - ROTFLOL

Posted by mysmokymtnhomeschool
Thanks for sharing this. I am on my way out the door heading to Payless. Good thing I read this before going. LOL

Hope you have a Happy Resurrection Day!

Blessings,
Amy Beth <><
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April 22, 2006 - fashion experts

Posted by ThistleCoveFarminVA
I think if they were TRULY fashion experts,they would know white shoe season.

God's blessings on you, yours and the work of your...hands,

Sandra
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