Wanna join?

It's called the "Clutz Club".............onna 'count that I'm sucha clutz.........seriously.

I think my ENtire body is one big muscle spasm today (do you hear the whining?).  The sad part is that I have been a clutz all my life.  I walked early (around 9 months I think my mother told me) - but despite my early walking abilities, I seem to have trouble staying on my feet while walking continuously.

It might have something to do with all those teacher remarks during my school years about "staying on task", "needs a little work on working independently"........way too many times.

.....and multi-tasking can be dangerous - especially for those of us so genetically predisposed to being, well, a clutz.

My latest clutz attack happened yesterday morning.  I had already showered and dressed, but still had my hair up in a towel when I remembered something I needed to ask Alan (he had already left for the day); via phone conversation - I was keeping my head back so the towel wouldn't unravel off my head while talking on the phone and coming down the stairs from Alan's office ..... somewhere in the stairwell was when my effervescent "clutz gene" attacked me from behind (....maybe it was a ghost...that would certainly make for a better story to tell.....) and I somehow missed the last three steps ~

...completely.

I wish I had a hidden video camera just so I could see how it happened that I landed with one leg up in the kitchen doorway going west (which is a step up) and the rest of me was pointing east and down in the mud room (which is step down) - the phone took flight to who knows where, but you know what?

My towel was still wrapped around my hair just perfect!

It took me a few minutes to gather myself - as you might imagine - and especially since it has been years (I'm talkin' MANY) since I've participated in any form of callisthenics.

Did any of you ever have a dime store Barbie doll?  You know, a "wanna be Barbie" that if you pulled the legs sideways you discovered rubberbands holding the legs in the sockets?  That was kinda the way I was feeling at that moment - like my rubberbands were being maxed.

I managed to get Alan back on the phone and after explaining that I did not hang up on him but that our family ghost knocked me down the stairs and the phone was launched into another room, it then took me another 5 minutes to wait for him to quit laughing before I could finish what I called him for in the first place.

My morning went on and nothing seemed too dented  or bruised as a result of my fall..........until this morning.................when I needed a construction crane to lift my petrified muscle stricken body out of the bed.

Unbelieveable.

Mac trucks were coming to mind when I finally decided to just log roll out of the bed instead of using any muscle - especially all the way down my left side - the side that went West into the kitchen.

Despite the snickering all around me this morning, my coffee was a welcomed comfort.  However, I didn't realize how "leftie" I truly am, until I tried picking up my coffee cup with my left hand........it wouldn't lift......have you ever tried to drink your coffee with the wrong hand?  It just doesn't feel right to be drinking coffee right-handed.  I'm surprised it didn't just drool out of my mouth - it felt so wrong.

I finally made my way out to the garden to water in our tomato and pepper plants and then to drag hose all over the pumpkin and watermelon patch we finished planting the other day.

It was very soothing and serene to be in the early morning warmth watering the soil - its fragrant promise of vegetation to sprout forth in the coming weeks.  The butterflies are becoming more and more abundant each day - I was delighted to be greeted by Swallowtails, Sulfurs, Monarchs and others that fluttered about so gracefully at what appears to be such a random path - yet yielding such purpose.

I couldn't help but wonder to myself in this ever so serene moment:

Do butterflies ever fall down or fly clutzilly?

Do they have any, you know, closet clutzes among them?

Careful out there, Y'all, the world is a giant gauntlet lying in wait for all us Clutz Queens!

;-)

hkj