Saturday, May 10, 2008 Spring Clean-Up
Andover's annual spring clean-up is underway and I must say, how can a family of 7 collect so much junk in a year's time???
I have three dead vacuums, four broken electric fans, an artificial Christmas tree that looks like it was the ground zero target at Bikini Atoll's hydrogen bomb test, boxes and boxes of clothes, tons of plastic shopping bags, one old dryer and six bikes that wouldn't make one working bike if you salvaged all the working parts from each and tried to make fit them into one coherent object.
In the garage there is a mountain of junk, wood, broken furniture, leaves (forgot to close door last Autumn), scrap metal, broken toys and a slew of what-knots and do-hickeys.
Out back there is something that looks like it may have been a swing set many eons ago, the remains of a swimming pool and it's support equipment from last year's summer fiasco, obsolete plastic plates and cups, a non-working BBQ grill, more broken toys, flat basketballs and a broken hoop, wet stuffed animals and enough downed branches to supply 50 families of beavers food for a year.
This is not counting the stuffed closets or the attic, actually the attic is the cleanest because I was too lazy to carry things up to the third floor. Hooray for gravity! LOL
Hi-Ho Hi-Ho. It's off to cleaning I go.
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Friday, May 2, 2008 Dating My Daughter Application Form (humor)
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APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER REQUEST FORM
1. YOUR REAL NAME AT BIRTH ________________________________
2. DATE OF BIRTH: ___________________________________________
3. SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER: ___-__-____
4. ARE YOU AN ORGAN DONOR? ______________________________
5. BLOOD TYPE: _____________________________________________
6. HOME ADDRESS: _________________________________________
7. CITY/STATE/ZIP: ___________________________________________
8. DO YOU OWN A VAN? _____________________________________
9. DO YOU OWN A WATER BED? _______________________________
10. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? _______________________________
11. IS ANY PART OF YOUR BODY PIERCED? _______________________
12. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN ARRESTED? _______________
13. WHAT WERE THE CHARGES? _________________________________
14. REASON YOU BROKE UP WITH LAST GIRLFRIEND: _______________
Answer the following questions in ten words or less on the back of this form:
· What does “LATE” mean to you?
· What does the word “DONT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you?
· What does “ABSTINENCE” mean to you?
· How fast can you run?
· When would be the best time to fingerprint and DNA sample you?
· If you were shot, where would be the last place on your body you would want to be shot in?
· If you were beaten, what would be the last bone you would want broken?
· A woman’s place is in the. . .
· The one question I hope you (the Father) don’t ask me about is?
· What was the first thing you noticed about my daughter? (if answer begins with the letter “T” or “A”, discontinue application and leave the country quickly)
Thank You.
Please allow six to eight weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved, do not write, text message, email or call. If you are rejected for any reason, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases.
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008 Scarecrow and Steelheads
I almost forgot, I have a picture of myself from last November when I caught two steelheads off the breakwall while fishing in Lake Erie near Conneaut, Ohio.
Both fish weighed 8 pounds (3.62kg) and were 30 inches (76.2cm) and 32 inches (81.3cm) long. What a fun day that turned out to be, I was the only one in our group that landed fish.
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008 My Daughter Ashleigh
Last weekend I mentioned to everyone that Ashleigh went to the prom, and I even posted this image.
Well, unbeknownst to her, I snucked these off of her (myspace) blog so you all can see what she really looked like on that night.
Ashleigh
(she really CAN hold her neck upright, must be a cute pose kinda thing)
Kyle and Ashleigh
Well, there she is (or was), however, the crayon drawing was sort of close.  |
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Tuesday, April 29, 2008 The Scarecrow's Cinnamon Rolls (long post)
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Last year I posted my recipe for my world famous cinnamon rolls and many here just loved them, however, in an act of uncontrollable semi-consciousness I inadvertently deleted it.
So, to right the wrong I will repost the recipe for all to enjoy and copy.
For the dough you will need:
- 1 Packet active dry yeast
- 8 cups sifted flour
- 1 cup sugar
- 4 eggs
- 1 pint (16 ozs.) lukewarm milk
- 1 cup soften butter
- 1 tsp salt
- Powered sugar
Dissolve yeast in a large bowl in one cup of warm milk, add 1 cup of flour, cover and let raise a little. Cream in butter. sugar, eggs and salt. Then add remaining flour and milk until a good ball of dough is formed. Knead until dough is smooth and elastic, place in a greased bowl and let rise in a warm place until doubled in bulk, about 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Once the dough has doubled, heavily spread powered sugar out on the table (to prevent the dough from sticking) and roll the dough out to form a long thin rectangle about 1/8 inch thick. Now you are ready for the filling.
For the filling you will need:
- Brown sugar
- Melted butter (one stick)
- Cinnamon
- Chopped nuts (optimal)
Spread about half of the melted butter all over the top of the rolled dough then heavily sprinkle on the cinnamon, cover all the dough evenly. Next pile on the brown sugar (don't be shy) lay it on thick, this will form a caramel once baked. Now comes time to roll the dough jelly roll style, starting at one of the long ends of the rectangle, start rolling slowly and evenly. Remember to stretch the roll outwards as rolling to increase it's length, once done the cinnamon roll should look like this light brown slimy snake on your table. (yummy)
It is now time to cut the cinnamon rolls, some use a knife but Mother Scarecrow taught me to use a string to get the beat cuts with delicate pastries such as this. Simply lift the end of the roll and slide a length of stout string under the dough and crossing them over at the top, then by pulling both ends, the string cuts evenly from all directions and the roll stays intact. Repeat until all the rolls are cut and place them on a greased baking sheet, cover and let raise another hour. (I know, spend more time raising and not eating, but the wait is worth it)
Preheat the oven to 350º degrees and brush the tops of each roll with the remaining melted butter (which by now needed remelted), sprinkle on some more brown sugar and they are ready to go in the oven. Bake at 350º degrees for 15 to 20 minutes, remove and set to slightly cool on a wire rack before drizzling on the final toping.
For the topping you will need:
- Powdered sugar
- Milk
- Vanilla or Almond extract
In a large cup, fill it with a goodly amount of powdered sugar and add small amounts of milk to get it to mix with a fork, you want this thick. Add a small amount of vanilla or almond extract (I prefer almond) to the glaze for flavoring. If it is too thick, add more milk, too thin add more powdered sugar, use your own judgement. Once mixed, drizzle over the warm cinnamon rolls and that is it.
Now you have the power to make the kids clean up your mess if they want some. (ha ha ha)
Hope you enjoy them.
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Sunday, April 27, 2008 Weekend Happenings
Ashleigh (my 17 year old daughter) had her senior prom tonight, all morning long she prepped herself with a team of women to support her efforts (wife and niece). She looked stunning with her long nails, white/red ballroom gown and baby's breath (flower) woven into her braided hair. I didn't realize how effort much went into a woman's make-over. Since I still have no digital camera, I had our 3 year old neighbor girl compose an image of Ashleigh after she was all dolled up.
I also had another cook-out just to do something manly, the estrogen levels in the house was too high for me, so I went outside and played with fire. (it's good to be the Neanderthal King)
Anyway, thats about all there is to my weekend other than getting a new sidewalk poured, oddly enough it dried without anyone placing their hand in it. Sonetimes you get lucky.
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Sunday, April 20, 2008 Cooking With Fire
I got me a brand new Brinkmann ProSeries 8300 stainless gas grill yesterday. Let me tell you, it felt mighty good to cook with fire again and not magic. (microwave) Fire good! Grunt, grunt, grunt.
She's a beauty and I named her Grilly, those steaks were sooooooooo good and the smell of them being cooked outdoors was fantastic. We had grilled steak, baked potatoes and corn on the cob.
My wife wanted me to grill her some tuna and I told her it'll be a cold day in "you know where" before I let her touch my Gri, er, I mean put stinky fish on my BBQ. She then scoffed how would I like to sleep with Grilly then? Never seen a wife get so jealous over a BBQ grill before, but it was a nice night for a campout. |
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008 Coin Collecting
Hello everyone.
Today I just got my 2008 American Eagle one ounce fine silver proof coin from the U.S. Mint.
The 99.9% silver bullion coin is mirror shiney and comes in this swanky blue velvet carring case, the coin itself is encapulated in an air tight plastic shell to preserve it quality...
This is my first "proof" coin and it will hold higher value over regular silver bullion circulation coins minted in the same year. It also bears the mint mark "W" for West Point.
Just wanted to share this "bright" moment with everyone.
Thanks for reading. |
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Sunday, April 13, 2008 Health Up-Date
I am one sick little scarecrow, I just got back from the doctor's today, seems I have a double ear infection, streptococcus, high fever, night sweats, bronchitis and enough phlegm to frost a three layer cake. (I know, but someone has to start these metaphores) Then there is the pollen in the air, every Springtime I start sneezing and my eyes water, who ever heard of a scarecrow with hay fever anyhow?
Now if that isn't bad enough, one of my Parkinson's meds has been recalled by the FDA and I am going through withdraws from the loss as I am being weaned off of it. But look on the bright side, I can use the money I saved on that prescription to by me some more rare coins. LOL
That's about all that is new for now, thanks for reading.
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008 Hello Again
Hello everyone at HSB, it's me again and none worse for my ware for my late winter hold-out. And what a winter we had, I lost my full grown maple tree out front and our side yard elm in the last big ice storm we had, then I found them, they were laying on my house, porch and my wife's car...
All has been repaired and I am planning on planting a berch tree in the loaction where the red maple and elm once stood, what's the odds of two trees from the same location hitting the house again? LOL
The family is doing fine although one of my Parkinson's meds has been recalled by the FDA, so I have regressed about a year because of that, but you know what that means... I can now get away with peeing all over the toilet seat without being yelled at. LOL
"Sorry dear, Parkinson's."
I wouldn't do it, but Lily don't know that. ha ha ha
Not much else is happening, I have a lot of yard work because of the trees falling, other than that it's been a quiet beginning to Spring.
I'll update later this week.
The Scarecrow |
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Thursday, January 10, 2008 Going Off Line |
