Good afternoon everyone.. this is going to be rather short and to the point.. at least that is my plan.  hehe  Here is my dilemma.. my daughter Courtney just came home from her Grandparent's after a week long visit.  Today it is miserably hot out so we decided to do some cleaning.. or rather I decided.  Courtney is less than enthused about cleaning, which I can understand.  No one likes to clean, but she gives me such a hard time about it most times.  I am working in the computer room.. clearing off the desk, going through old mail etc.  I told her I wanted her to do up the dishes and fold a couple loads of laundry.  I told her it was up to her what she wanted to start with first.  GRRRR!  She was just being argumentative and that drives me crazy.  You have no idea how much I would appreciate telling her to do something and she would just DO it without all the back talk etc.

And to my entry title.. the forgetful child.  I say this with much sarcasm.  Let me explain... Courtney's daily chores include feeding and watering our one outside dog and feeding and watering our inside dogs.  It is daily that I have to ask/tell her to go feed.  She then gets irritated with me and says 'I know!'.  BUT if I don't tell her to do it, she doesn't do it.  I have told her time and again I hate to nag at her, but if I don't tell her to do it, she 'forgets'.  She is also terrible about remembering the inside pets.  I can tell her to feed, she says she knows, or ok, and feeds Abby, the outside dog.. but doesn't feed the inside dogs.  I have to remind her later to feed and water them.  It is so frustrating!!  Does anyone have any ideas that will help me??!! I am nearly at my wits end with her 'forgetfulness'.  A side note, feeding the pets isn't a new responsibility, so it isn't like she is truly forgetting because she hasn't done it long enough to know that is her job daily.  I feel she is just being lazy, but I don't know how to approach it.  HELP!

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Sunday, July 6 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Kitty

I don't think they ever get over that. It's not that they are forgetful overall, just forgetful to what we tell them to do. My 25 yo dd is the same as yours, but only when I ask her to do something for me.
When they were teens, this is what I would do. If I found myself asking them over and over again to do something, and it still wasn't getting done, they next time they would ask me to do something, I would conviently "forget". It was something that helped get a point across, even if it was only for a day or two, LOL..............Kitty

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Sunday, July 6 - Help I hope

Posted by smmagers

How old is she? What you can do that helps is have it writen done and give it to her daily what she is to do and have her check it of as she does it and the have her bring her list to you for you to review and to check to see if she has done it and then check it off also. If it is not have her do it again. Do not reward her for having to redo the work, but DO reward her for getting it done right. Rewards can be extra t.v time, computer time, etc.. This worked great with our girls and now we do not need the list. The list can change to what needs done and you can have daily jobs. God Bless.mj

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Sunday, July 6 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Schatzi

Wow, what a dilemna....I have my own ideas but not sure posting in the comment section is a good idea....isn't it great that we as mom's DON"T forget to feed our children and wash their laundry....maybe you should start complaining everytime your daughter asks you to do something for her, or drive her somewhere:-)

I know everyone has their idea of parenting and this is a tough question. My children are NEVER, EVER aloud to complain..(and it MUST be done with a cheerful heart) when asked to do something or they get another chore and if their complaining continues, they will be doing chores all day...so needless to say, we very seldom have complaining about chores.

I will pray for you that God gives you wisdom.

Connie

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Sunday, July 6 - <em>Untitled Comment</em>

Posted by safords

It doesn't happen often, but last week two of my girls took care of the big animals but forgot the bunnies. They did not get supper. I just stated the fact that the bunnies missed a meal and to know just how it felt, they would be missing supper. They said not one word. They fed their animals and were very busy during supper time. It won't happen again very soon. The consequence fit the crime and they knew it.

If your daughter is choosing to disobey by being "forgetful" it's a heart issue. It will take some time on your knees and the consequence must be enough to hurt where it matters. Obviously reminding her is not going to work and talking about it afterwards won't either.

Connie posted a comment while I was still typing... and I really like her post! Right on!

Edited by safords on Sunday, July 6 at 06:33

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Monday, July 7 - Untitled Comment

Posted by gokings13

Honestly?
It doesn't sound like she is "forgetful" it sounds like she is disrespectful.
The next time she shoots off her mouth, "forget" to allow her privledges. "Forget" to let her go to a friends, talk on the phone, have friends over.

Let her know Monday: This is your responsibility (and spell it out) and every time I have to tell you to do it.........you lose _______. AND every time you shoot off your mouth, I am going to smack it / soap it / address it swiftly and uncomfortably.

I know what it's like to deal with attitude. If you don't reign it in........it will reign in the house.
Yuck!
Laura

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Monday, July 7 - Untitled Comment

Posted by morningsunshine

maybe have a "it needs to be done by this time. I will go check to see if it is done. if it is not completely done when I check (and I will NOT be reminding you), I have another job you can do in addition to the first."
there are some other great suggestions here too.

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Monday, July 7 - Ditto

Posted by Marseeya

Depending on her age there are many great ideas that have already been posted. My boys began the "I Know!" with me. We discussed it as being a form of disrespect. They then had to address us as ma'm and sir, a simple "Yes, Ma'm" was all that was accepted. We did this until they began to show the respect outwardly. They really enjoyed the priviledge of calling us mom and dad again. Also, a convenient "forgetting to do laundry" at the appropriate time, and "oh, you didn't tell me I needed to do your laundry". It is definitely a heart issue. We are all part of a family, the work comes along with the fun things. Praying for you and your daughter.

Marcia

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