Whatever Happened to Modesty?

Posted on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 3:21

I recently attended a Christian women's banquet, and, boy did I ever get an eyeful.  And it wasn't just of pretty linens and long-stem roses!  A myriad of ages, backgrounds, and denominations were represented by those present, but the one thing that most seemed to have in common was that they didn't know how to dress.  And I don't mean they were fashion frumps- they were down right immodest!!  I was shocked that women who claim the name of Christ (and many were even ministers' wives) had so little regard for decency as to neglect to properly cover themselves. Ironically, one of the topics being discussed was an abstinence program to reach the teenagers of our community.  I had a hard time imagining some of the women, as sincere as they may have been, having any success at teaching purity to young people when their own bodies were exposed for all to see!     

I came home wondering, Don't they see the connection between purity and modesty?  How could these grown women not know how to dress?  Don't they know better?  Oh, you bet they know better!  How could a woman not notice the kind of reaction she causes when she exposes parts of her body that should be seen only by her husband?  I'm not one to judge another's motives for dressing a certain way, but I am convinced that every woman does know  what she's doing when she dresses in a "sexy" manner. 

I am fully aware that it's hard to find modest clothes to buy these days- even if you make your own clothing, patterns aren't even decent any more!  But I also know it's possible to dress fashionably and modestly- if you want to bad enough!  (And by "fashionably" I don't mean "trendy"... there is a difference!)  Just because a shirt, that happens to be low cut, is "your color" doesn't mean you have to buy it.  A dress may fit you just right except for one thing- it's too short.  Leave it hanging on the rack!  If a skirt you like has a split, sew it up to a modest length.  Don't wear it anyway and flash your lily-white leg to every John, Dick, and Harry in town!  If your favorite sweater is a tad too low, don't wear it to church and then self-consiously pull at the neck line throughout the entire service and hope the pastor didn't get an eye full when you bent over.  Either wear a modest tank top beneath it, or throw the thing in the garage sale pile!  You can be modest if you want to!  

Here's WHY every Christian woman has an obligation to herself, mankind, and to God Himself, to dress and carry herself in a modest fashion:

• Romans 12:1- "I beseech you therefore, brethern (and sisters!), by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable, unto God, which is your reasonable service."   
• I Corinthians 6:19, 20- "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."   
• Titus 2: 3,4- "The the aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness... that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home..."
• I Thessalonions 4:4-7- "For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; not in the lust of concupiscience, even as the Gentiles which know not God: that no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.  For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness."   ("Go beyond" means to overstep moral law; "defraud" means literally to "take advantage of, rob, or cheat"; "in any matter" refers to sexual conduct, as referred to in this passage.)
• Matthew 5:27,28- "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh upon a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."  (Often we use this verse to throw stones at men who do not control their eyes or thought life, and truly they are held responsible for what they look at and think.  BUT, notice that the woman inferred to in this verse is also held accountable, along with the man: hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.  Obviously a woman is responsible for the thoughts that her unchaste demeanor or (lack of) clothing arouse in a man's mind.)

What a huge responsibilty we as Christian women have to be the light and salt of this world!  And we simply cannot do it if we represent our bodies in a way that is unchaste, unholy, and impure.  An unsaved man will have no respect for a woman who claims to be a Christian but exposes herself to him by the way she dresses.  In his mind, she will be no different than any other woman- an object to look at and lust after, if he so desires.  Our daughters will have a destorted view of sexual purity if we dress- and allow them to dress- in ways that attract a man's attention to the wrong parts of our body.  How will our sons learn to properly admire and respect a girl if his sisters, mother, and the women in his church are constantly showing off their "feminine charms"? 

Our world is sick with lust and sexual perversions of every shape and form.  As believers in Jesus Christ, we MUST take and stand and be different.  We MUST present our bodies as vessels of honor so that the Light of Christ can shine unhindered through our lives.       

Thank you so much for your post

Posted by shekinah on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 5:54 - Link

I agree with you every step of the way and I was saying Amen to every single thing you wrote in this article. There are a few of us on Homestead Blogger that have written articles on Modesty at some time or another and I may just write something else tomorrow to add to what you wrote.

There are some brilliant Christian Modest Sites around and I have just had a lot of clothing made by www.liliesapparel.com and there clothing is feminine and very modest.

This was brilliant and I am so glad you have shared this - I had only just started reading this and directed a friend of mine on here to read it too.

Blessings
Page

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Posted by GoofyMamma on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 7:16 - Link

Amen sister Amen sister Amen sister. We have "friends" who's wives wear very low cut shirts and frankly I don't want my husband looking at all that. This is another reason we are trying to leave the beach scene. Girls are constantly walking around in their underwear (well bathing suits) and I have boys who are young now but will be young men soon and I don't want them to have to put up with that temptation and I don't want my daughter to have to compare herself to that. Way to go on your post. Amen.
Kim

God's so good!

Posted by mejerrymouse on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 7:38 - Link

Isn't it kind of Him to reveal to us and convict us of His truth regarding modesty!!! Just remember, He convicts different people of different things at different times--we must have some grace for that--we're all at different places in our sanctification. What seems obvious to us, isn't so obvious to others and may not be for many years. Likewise, they may see some great sin in our lives that God hasn't yet revealed to us. Thanks so much for your post and the reminder to pursue modesty!

Warmly,
Elizabeth

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Posted by CandyFoote on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 7:45 - Link

Thanks for visiting my blog!
You are so blessed to have your husband around so often.
Enjoy it!

By the way, I do have my books available in both e-book and regular bound formats.

Thanks again,
Candy

Nicely put...

Posted by mulberrylane on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 8:05 - Link

I'm not one to read all the devotionals around here, as I just don't have alot of time and I do my own for the most part, but I have a spell for winding down tonight and I'm glad I stopped by and read yours. My daughters are teens and they are the first to scoff at people dressing inappropriately and preaching purity. They don't know how others can possibly hear what they are saying when you "see" something totally different.
And my girls would agree... you can be fashionably dressed and modest. Thanks for sharing.
Warmly, Melissa

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Posted by Kitty on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 8:35 - Link

I agree with every word you wrote, and I also agree with Elizabeth that we dont all see the light at the same time. I am one who is just in the last year being convicted to dress more modestly. Dont get me wrong I didn't show anyone anything, but to ME I needed to listen to what God was saying about wearing more dresses.
I live in south Louisiana so the heat is a big thing, not to mention that I am slightly overweight, so I do wear shorts (long shorts lol) at home. But when I go out in public, its a dress. My dh has noticed and always compliments me on how nice I look. As for where I get my dresses, I am lucky enough to have found many many of them a garage sales and thrift stores for pennies. I have also made one or two. So they are out there if you want them badly enough.
Thanks for post, its great.
Kitty

Edited by Kitty on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 09:37

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Posted by homesteadinthemaking on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 12:19 - Link

I have to second all of the Amens. I ,too, believe as women, that we know full well how our appearance effects others. Modesty is a lost art in our society that I and my girls, hope to bring back.
Blessings,
Trixi

modesty

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, May 25, 2007 at 1:37 - Link

Mom2fur again. Well, the whole modesty thing aside...a lot of the fashions that 'show too much skin' just plain don't look good! Even on the TV show "What Not to Wear," they'll comment if someone's showing too much: "You're sending a message with this outfit, but is it the message you really want to send?" They often recommend a lace cami under a low-cut shirt. Layering is in style this summer, and I'm glad. I made a really cute shirt for myself, but it's a little low cut for me to be comfortable. After all that work, I'm glad I had a t-shirt that looks great underneath it. Honestly, all it takes to look like a 'lady' is a little extra fabric. How hard can that be?

This article is a must read on this topic.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, June 1, 2007 at 11:13 - Link

http://www.familyministries.com/HS_Crisis.htm

Modest Dress

Posted by Melissa NY on Friday, June 1, 2007 at 1:36 - Link

I recently took my 3 daughters shopping for some summer clothing. WOW was i surprised. The shorts were closer to being undergarments than shorts and the cute little tops that had cartoon characters on them from MY childhood had saying that were inappropriate for adults to read, let alone young children. I was disgusted.

I decided to purchase a short set pattern and revamp the pattern to fit what i feel is appropriate. I lengthened the top and shortened the neckline. Added several inches to the shorts so they were to their knees and they look just adorable. My 15 year old even feels comfy in these. Wow what people willbuy and wear for the sake of wearing it...