Principles of Courtship Part I

Posted on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 at 11:25

Principles of Courtship

Part One

I think that just about everything under the sun has camped out beneath the tent called "courtship"... from betrothel to recreational dating, and a wide spectrum of everything in between.  Figuring out exactly what courtship is and isn't can be confusing, to say the least!!  There seems to be a lot of interest in courtship here on the Homestead blog, so I thought I'd dedicate a few more posts to this topic.     There are several Biblical principles that I believe true courtship entails... here's the first:   

 Personal Commitment  I mention this first because unless a young person personally commits to "not dating" there is no sense in a parent (or friend or relative) pushing the issue.  It's kind of ironic to see enthusiastic parents gush about how their son or daughter "believes in courtship", while all the while their teenager is hiding an "I-don't-think-so" look behind a half-hearted smile.  Courtship involves not only the period of time that a young man pursues a girl to win her heart, but all the months and years before that time arrives.  "Courtship" is a lifestyle, a commitment to save your time and engery and emotions for God's perfect person and timing.  Unless a young person decides that this is something he or she is willing to do, courtship really won't work.  A parent can provide encouragement and a courtship-friendly atmosphere, but in the end it has to be a personal commitment on the part of your son or daughter. 

Parental Involvement  Notice I said "involement", not "control".  This is not about pre-arranged marriages!!    When Jeremy and I were courting, both our parents were actively a part of most everything we were doing.  That doesn't mean that we never got to be alone to talk or go on a date, but our relationship was an extension of both of our families.  It's unhealthy when a dating (or courting) couple spends so much time and energy on each other that their own famlies are neglected.  Since the purpose of courtship is to build a healthy, Godly marriage (and thus, a family), it only makes sense that parents and siblings be involved in the process!  I remember a friend of mine at Bible college complaining that her sister had always excluded her while she was dating her husband... maybe it sounds silly, but my brother and sister were actually with Jeremy and I on our first "date"!!  Consequently, there was never any problem with my siblings not liking Jeremy or resenting the new place he came to occupy in our family.  Since they always felt a part, it was easy for my younger sister and brother to "move over and make room" for him when the time came.  If your kids don't like the idea of you or their siblings being a part of their future "courtship", then maybe now would be a great time to work on those relationships.  Remember, courtship isn't just about marriage and the pursuit of it... it's invovles all of life!

To be continued...    

Untitled Comment

Posted by gokings13 on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 at 3:08 - Link

I am looking forward to you posts!
Laura