Journey To Me

Depressed

So my husband doesn't get it.

He just spent $535 on a new seat for his snowmobile and didn't tell me. 

I don't know what to do.  I am so depressed today that I don't know if I will be able to work. 

I did forgive him, but once again, I have been taken advantage of and lied to.  I just want to cry.

Sick

I have been sick with a head cold since last Wednesday evening.  I don't know if I can take it much longer.  I am having trouble concentrating and cannot get motivated to complete even the simplest of tasks (such as put ingredients in the bread machiene so that I can have the simplest of foods).

Took a pregnancy test yesterday and it said I am not pregnant, so I took some OTC drugs to help me get through last night.  I slept for 15 hours then went into work this afternoon (only because I had to get my laptop and printer for my out of office assignment tomorrow).  I feel like a zombie walking around the office!  I have to start feeling better soon!

Murphy's Law

So...  Murphy's Law has caught up with me again. 

Because I have absolutely no money right now, the transmission on my car has decided that it is going to be broken. 

Well, at least the car is PAID for.  It could be worse, I could be making payments AND have to fix the transmission.  I will see how much it should cost to fix later today...

Expecting the worst, praying for the best.

Playing House by Myself

Patience

Growing up I was always told that patience was a good thing to have.  I guess that it is good in certain circumstances, but in my life currently, I HAVE NONE LEFT! 

My husband still has not gotten a job (has been almost 4 weeks now) and the money has run out.  While I know that we will make it work (it has always worked out in the past) it has taken such a toll on our relationship.  I don't want to yell at him and tell him how I really feel (that he is not doing enough to get a new job, that he is not doing enough at home while he is not working, that this is not supposed to be a vacation for him, etc...) because if I tell him how I really feel, my fear is that he will not think that I am a supportive wife.  I am supportive!  I just need him to get a job so that he can help contribute!  I don't make enough money to cover all the bills (he could work PT at a good job, or FT at a temporary job and we could make squeeze by) and it is really starting to wear on me!  I walked in the door last night and all I wanted to do was yell at him for "putting me in this position and stressing me out". 

So as I cried myself to sleep last night without telling him again how I feel, I wish I could tell him in a way that wouldn't hurt his feelings or make him feel even more emasculated than he already does. 

Any suggestions?

Exhaustion

I am utterly exhausted this morning.  I unfortunately have felt like this for the past few days.  My eye is twitching constantly and all I really want to do is crawl back into my bed with a good book and read and nap with my cat and dog. 

Okay, so that is just another dream of mine!  I have already been at work for awhile and need to take a break from crunching numbers so that I don't fall asleep!  I forced myself to go work out last night, hoping it would revive my body (and soul) but all it seemed to do was make me want to sit down more!  Thankfully, I am going away for the long holiday weekend to the cabin and will have 3 full days of rest and relaxation!  I am looking forward to it so much that I think I may decide to return to the cabin in a couple weeks!