I wrote this blog for my music page....just some thoughts that I've had on the controlling spirit.

I'm going to write this blog with the knowledge that it may offend some people.  But sometimes nothing anyone does will please "those" types of people because they are critical and judgmental and unforgiving.  I've learned that "those" types of people are best to avoid, because they will lie to get people on their side, criticize your every move because of their jealosy, bitterness and unforgiveness.  They will gossip to make themselves feel better.  Those people are controlling....stay away from them. They will only bring you down. 

Sometimes a person will go through a time in their life when they show these attributes, but some people spend their whole lives in this giant soap opera drama, just for the sake of the attention.  What motivates this?  Is it rejection issues?  Bitterness?  Hatred?  Sometimes they drag innocent people into this drama without the innocent even realizing they are being controlled for years. 

I've been one of the numbers who have done these things in a time where I was wounded.  I regret my actions and have apologized to those who I feel deserve an apology.  My bitterness caused other people a lot of pain that they did not need to go through.  I will probably regret my hastiness until the day that I die, but I learned from it.  I wouldn't trade the experience of the healing for anything.  I learned WAY too much. 

I've learned the type of people to trust-- those that know how to cherish covenants of friendship.  I've learned who NOT to trust-- those who are controlling and harmful to you and those who lie without remorse.  I've learned how to communicate better.  I've learned that sometimes you have to separate yourself from toxic people.  I've discovered who I am.  I've rediscovered my calling, regained my vision and by His grace have had my faith strengthened and my resolve fortified.  I've learned that no matter how much I love certain people, I have to separate myself from them because they are controlling.

Controlling people will threaten you and when you won't back down they will recant their threats in order to get back into your good graces.  Once they are back in your good graces, they will slowly begin to criticize your life-- from your personality to your family to your ministry and even your Christian walk.  It's a slow thing...very deceptive.  Then when challenged the controlling person will get defensive and throw insults in your face while twisting the truth.  Sometimes they do this intentionally and sometimes they don't realize it because they have lied to themselves so long they really think that the un-truth is the REAL truth.  When challenged the controlling person will try to cause divisions in family by trying to get other family members on "their" side, when really there shouldn't be any sides to the situation.  The controlling person will throw all the blame on you.  When you stand up to them they will try EVERYTHING to ruin you and your character and your ministry. 

If you have experienced this from people in your life....YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!!  This type of thing is either becoming more common or God is really sifting through His church....cleansing her and making her pure.  Some of us probably have one or two of these attributes, but those who are really deep in this controlling spirit will have most of them.  And as I said, some people will go through trials where they exhibit these traits.  God is sifting them.  As long as they realize it and acknowledge it and REPENT!, they will become free from one or all of them.  Thank God for His grace.

I've felt the brunt of these controlling people many times.  I've seen it in pastoral leadership, in friendships, in blood family members, (not my parents,) and in ministries--on-line and off-line.  Anytime anyone claims ownership over you...RUN!  Run very fast!!!!  I've been accused by certain people of being controlling.  But the truth of the matter is that most of the time the people who call me so are the ones who are controlling themselves and are threatened because I refuse to be controlled by any man.  This isn't rebellion!  This is knowing WHO is my God.  It isn't a man.  It isn't a friend.  It isn't a ministry.  It isn't my church leadership.  It is THE LORD!  It's standing and knowing who you are in Christ.

So hopefully this will encourage some people.  Hopefully this will have brought some peace to troubled hearts.  Or shed some light on some areas in other people's lives.  I don't mean it to offend....just writing some things I've contemplated for a few months. 

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Posted by Penny

I have found sometimes I can best love and pray for those who are aiming "murderous threats" at me if I do it from a distance. In other words I can love them and stay in an attitude of love towards them if I seperate myself from them. And what do I pray for them? Blessings of course. I pray they are blessed with the presence ofthe Lord and a deep compassionate understanding of His love.

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