Just sharing about my life on the farm.
June 4, 2008 - Depression...
Well, I went to the doctor to get some blood tests done to check my thyroid levels. What bugs me the most is always always ALWAYS being so cold. Even tonight it is 72 degrees out still and I was downstairs chilled and wanting a blanket!
My labs came back today. They are perfectly normal. I was pleased and remind myself that is GOOD. But the end result of what that meant, I am still churning around in my stomach. The doctor basically said I was depressed and that she wondered if I wanted to set an appointment to discuss finding a medication that was right for me.
I guess I knew I had some lingering post partum depression that I could tell was lifting, but she said that since my symptoms have no cause... I simply have depression. I think it is more the process of getting to that point... no checking hormones (which can cause depression), no digging deeper to see if it is any myriad of things... like cancer. Just... it's depression. I guess it is a quick fix for doctors, but what now? Put me on a pill and call me good? I just found that a true sad ending.
I have been doing some research for some time on my ailments... being a nurse, you kinda know where it is going, but you want to be sure. I needed the doctor to order labs and such. Mine did not want to do hormone testings as she did not find anything significant in that area. I guess going from a regular 28 day cycle to a 25 day cycle isn't alarming to a doctor... even it if is a pain for me and a drag... having more cramps, more PMS and more tenderness, bloating and swelling each month. I guess that is NORMAL. *sigh*... now I am getting angry, eh?
Oh the anger isn't about me. I really am not upset over it... I just shrug my shoulders and know that I have two alternatives, well three. I can go to a different doctor (a lady doctor) and run tests on my hormones. But even if they were found abnormal, I know we don't have any natural type doctors and that would likely put me on another pill as well... or I self medicate with natural progesterone. I could do nothing... assume depression at it's fullest point (major depression) and treat from there in naturalistic ways... my doctor told me that exercising aerobically every day works as well as PAXIL. Now tell me, a pill and side effects vs... a little sweat and good health. Hmmm...! (today I did heavy weeding which actually made me pant and sweat for 30 minutes straight. I praised God for the bit of breeze that came my way to help cool me down). Or I could go back to my doctor and say I am not satisfied and want more tests. I mean... it is 72 degrees out, I am wearing a full length denim dress, long sleeve shirt, with long underwear, knee-high cotton socks and I am still cold!
At this point, I've decided to simply work at getting back to healthy. That was my resolution a few months back... and about the time my head cleared as well... perhaps it just will take time to work out this stuff. I am also watching a Depression seminar which I purchased to give at our church by Neil Nedley. IT is very well done and I am learning alot. Apparently I have alot of markers indicating that I could have mild to major depression. I however don't feel sad and I don't feel desperate and I don't feel like hurting myself or anyone else... I'm just tired, cold, and irritable. The tired and irritable can be markers for depression (as well as a host of other things). Anyways, there are 10 categories of causes and I have several of those as well. So, maybe I did/do have depression and just didn't recognize it because I wasn't sad...? Weird. Anyways... most of the natural ways to beat depression are diet, sleep, circ. rhythm patterns, ...basically things I have ignored since I had a baby with her own set of diet intolerances. I guess it is time to get momma back on track. If I do and if this is truly depression... I should feel good as new within 5 months... and considering I started a while back... it won't be much longer.
Well, off to bed... can't miss out on my healthy sleep... not to mention the computer has to go to bed, there is a storm on the way.
Warmly, ~Melissa
Comments
June 5, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Isabella
I went through a long period of deep depression. I had hypothyroidism and anemia. (To me)They seemed to have a lot of the same effects. I didn't read that you were checked for anemia. That could be a symptom and no energy. The anemia seemed to make me cold and the hypothyroidism seemed to make me very hot. lol. Now that I am taking the synthroid (not generic), iron pills and vitiamin c all seems a lot better. I also started taking a multivitamin and walking 15 to 30 minutes a day. Will pray for you. I
June 5, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Everthankful
I'm sorry you are experiencing the difficulties of depression. I have also been there and KNOW what a struggle it is..especially when you desire the cures to come from natural sources and not a bottle of medication. Some things that helped with my depression...B complex vitamin, iron supplements (I am anemic) and magnesium during PMS time. Also, invest time in something that brings satisfaction and relaxation for you. I always thought that was kind of selfish but have found that by doing so, it refuels me somehow and I am able to give more of myself to others. Plus make sure you are able to get out and around other people! This was the hardest for me but helps in a way no other way can.
You had a baby recently? Please be patient because the hormones will readjust again. But you are right in your account that you do need to take care of yourself! Blessing to you!
June 5, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by dhcfarm
I went through exactly the same thing not too long ago! I went to the doctor with a bunch of symptoms that were pointing to a thyroid issue and my tests came back negative. Doctor offered my Paxil, which I turned down. I'm in the process of changing doctors and will get re-tested. I have a family member who it took 3 thyroid tests before he came back with a positive, because of the hormone levels changing through the day. Anyway, he's on natural thyroid meds now and his symptoms are gone and he's doing great. So don't give up hope....I'm going to be getting the tests run again soon as I can afford to.
June 6, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by a1health
I'm thinking. I'll check back soon.
~Farrah
June 14, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by tractorchick72
I hope you start feeling better soon! I know what you are going through...I have hypothyroidism and have suffered bouts of mild to severe depression. No depression right now, thank the Lord, but am having what I believe to be hormonal issues, although my blood tests are "normal". I am currently trying to get healthier by losing weight and eating better and am hoping that will help whatever it is that's going on with me. I'll say a prayer for your health!
God Bless,
Tricia
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