Thursday, January 31, 2008
Proverbs 31 woman - Day 10 (11)
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....and I've 'goofed' somewhere in the counting of days.....sheesh. This is technically the 11th day. DUH. And may I say in reference to this next verse ..........OUCH! I know I promised to be cheerful, and I will, but his verse just stepped on ALL my toes regarding an issue I have ALWAYS struggled with......my tongue. Here's the verse: "When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly." I can literally hear my mother's voice in my ear RIGHT NOW......."If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". OR, the OTHER version and slightly more male approach (it's actually what she used to say to my Daddy), "It's not WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it". That certainly fits the 2nd part of that verse, no? Man, where did I go off the mark? When did I get to a point where I thought what I was taught wasn't worth following? (I could go on and on here about the world's influence thru media, but .....you've heard it before). Here's another one: "what goes around, comes around." (Usually to bite you in the..........well........to be Biblical, netherparts.) So as Christian wives and mothers, why DON'T we always speak with kindness? Why don't we remain silent if we really have nothing good to say? Pride. At least, that's what my Bible tells me. WE want OUR opinion to be heard and it is more important than anyone else's. SELF. Putting what we have to say above others......how does that line up with "prefer one another" or "esteem others higher than yourself"?? OR we're trying to make US look better than someone else, so we're will to dish dirt on anyone else but us....PRIDE.....wanting to be "NUMBER 1". Getting ahead. Coming in first. As the King of Siam said "etcetera, etcetera, etcetera......" I could go on and on......... Years ago I began a study on "the tongue" and only got thru one installment of it on another website, when for reasons unknown to me (yeah, right), I just couldn't finish it. It's called conviction. I was going to start spouting all the verses that come to my mind about the tongue, but honestly.....there are just TOO MANY. 126 in the KJV. And that's just the ones that make reference to the TONGUE. There are many, many more that talk about our speech, speaking, talking, jesting, boasting.......all of which we do with our TONGUE. I used to have this little poster I myself bought when I was about 15-16 years old. (I must've known I was doomed even back then). It said "Engage brain before starting tongue". I may cross stitch it on every pillow in this house. And since I've gone back in my old study to see how things "compare".....I once again see no reason to rehash what I taught 6 years ago. I will simply paste it here with a few thoughts after it. ***26. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Wisdom – prudence Tongue – language Law – direction, instruction Kindness – mercy, goodness, faithfulness Our paraphrase: She speaks wisdom and prudence. Her language is the instruction of mercy, goodness and faithfulness. A while ago, I was seated near some women at a church function. At least one of these women was the wife of someone who held an office in the church. I have never been so convicted about how I sound to others as I was that day. These women started their conversation with a fairly neutral topic, however I noticed they seemed to dwell on how much an item cost, and how the one woman was fortunate to have received this item at a fraction of it’s cost, due to a flaw. Now, I shop for bargains all the time, and I certainly do not hesitate in passing on any money saving information I find. Rather, it was the tone of this conversation that began to raise the hairs on the back of my neck. Well, to make a long story short, which is difficult for me, I left that room feeling almost dirty and defeated after hearing most of a conversation I wished I could have gotten up and left from. I probably should have left, but was in a position where I was fairly trapped into staying. I believe we are responsible for what we hear, even if it is something we “overhear”……sometimes I believe God uses these overheard conversations as lessons for us, or warnings. Remember Paul’s nephew in Acts 23:16? “And when Paul’s sister’s son heard of their lying in wait, he went and entered into the castle, and told Paul”. The end result of this is Paul’s nephew reported what he heard to the proper authorities, and saved his uncle’s life. Ladies, do you know the word “gossip” is NOT in the Bible? The only reference I could find was slanderer or talebearer. The information that Paul’s nephew carried to the soldiers was not slander, nor was it a “tale”…..it was the truth. These women I was forced to listen to were not really slandering, neither were they mourning, meditating or recounting something they had heard, which is the definition for telling a tale. They were just talking. No wonder the book of Proverbs is just filled with examples of the problems a loose tongue can bring. Which brings me full circle to “in her tongue is the law of kindness. Were these women instructing each other in mercy, goodness or faithfulness? No. Were they speaking wise things? No. They were just speaking. Minutes and minutes of nothingness. But God had me to listen to their empty pratter for a reason. I have always had a problem with my “tongue”, and am first to admit that. I pray nearly daily for control in the area of my speech, I literally have to give it over to God on a daily basis. I did not purposefully speak harmful things on any occasion, however, I need to reflect on how much harm I did to myself, my “witness” for Christ, His Father, and their glorious Church, if someone overheard what I was saying? I think so many times we just babble on about things that don’t really matter to us, but how is what we are saying affecting that new church member, or that new babe in Christ? And if we don’t fill our minds with “good things”, Phil.4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever thngs are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”, what is it we are going to be talking about? Maybe we will talk about the latest news story. Maybe we will talk about whatever it is we’ve seen on the tv, or in a magazine. But ladies, we will talk about something, and if we are not filling our minds with God’s word, or the work of the church, or the good, lovely and pure things, then what is going to come out? So, was this conversation I overheard gossip? No, not really. I believe it was a warning to me, and I have been impressed by the Holy Spirit to pass on what I’ve learned to you. I am responsible for what I overheard. Did I hear about a murder plot? No. Did I need to warn someone of imminent danger? No. But I do believe that God, in His always wonderful, omnipotend, omniscient way, was intructing me about my tongue. And then the very shortly after hearing this conversation, I needed to sit down and finish this lesson. How wonderful is our God, to even supply us with the words we need to speak.*** Empty talking. Idle speech (THAT'S Bible). Something we are going to have to account for someday. WOW. EVERY idle word. I'm afraid there isn't enough ink or paper for mine. I have a friend who just happens to be a pastors wife. We went to Bible college together and struck up a friendship that has lasted, oh, these many years. And it is NOT just b/c she's a 'pastor's wife' that I say these things, nor do I think pastor's wives are the only ones who should behave this way. It is for ALL of us, ladies. Anyway, I just LOVE to talk with this friend. Every time I hang up the phone, I tell my husband, "I just love talking to ______". I look forward to the time when I know she will call. I do not call her often enough, for which I am very chagrined. I began wondering just WHAT it was about speaking to her that I enjoyed so much. I figured it out. Her speech qualifies for that verse!!!! YES, a woman!!! One of us. We talk about books we've read recently. And how they apply to us as wives and mothers. We talk about the work of her husband's church. The growth, the POSITIVE aspects of it only. We talk about recipes, our children, medical remedies.....ONLY the good things. It hit me like a ton of bricks. We do NOT slander, nor do we bear tales. It is uplifting and encouraging. I feel REFRESHED when I get off the phone. (They live in a far southwestern state now). For a long long time, I did not hear from her, either by phone or email. I finally asked 'what's up'? Know what she told me? "I'm not in a very good place right now and am afraid I wouldn't say the right thing". When was the last time I had that much self control? What do people say when they hang up the phone after speaking with ME?? I am SORRY I'm beating up on myself again......but......it's the verse. I will put a positive spin on it. I am going to pray that God leads me to speak ONLY when I have positive, encouraging, life giving, Phil 4 words to say. I'm actually looking forward to it. I am turning my tongue over to God, for his control. How about it ladies, wanna come with me? Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
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Thursday, January 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment
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Posted by Thursday, January 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment
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Posted by Thursday, January 31, 2008 - Very Well Put
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