Rachael's Random Ramblings

ARGH! All my daughter wants to do is watch TV!! HELP!

Okay yes...first of all....MY BAD! *Smacks self on wrist*....I have let my kindergartener daughter, Isabelle, indulge in too much TV to begin with. She's 6 and literally has NO imagination to save herself. I have turned the TV OFF as of tonight because I have had it with her not being able to function without it on.  She has a blank expression when it is on, and a blank expression when it isn't on. The girl is a ZOMBIE.

Tonight, for example...I turn it off, I say "it's time we use our imagination's and come up with adventures!" She is literally pacing around the house without a clue in the world what to do with herself.

She has an almost 4 year old brother who is a Tom Sawyer...he plays ALL day with no need for someone else to entertain him. He's pretending and imagining and playing and jumping and having adventures all day. Why my daughter can't do this...I don't know.

It doesn't end there. Isabelle is VERY influenced by Hannah Montana and other teenie bopper shows. All she wants is to be a teenager and wear high heels and make-up....at SIX. To add to this, she has 2 stepsisters ages 7 and 8 at her Dad's house where she goes every other weekends. Lifestyle over there is VERY modern and materialistic...they BUY BUY BUY and SPEND SPEND SPEND. It's all about stuff and restaurants, and the latest movies and the latest fashions and going to the mall and running running running. They haven't a CLUE what being connected to the earth or "going without" means over there.

So tonight I get her back from her Dads and she's all hyped up about the Spyderwick Chronicle movie she saw, and the new Wii game her Dad bought her, and on and on and on and on. It's ALWAYS about stuff and spending.

First off we're not like that over here. Things move slow on the farm and we rarely even go to town. We don't buy buy buy. I can't offer nor do I want to offer that kind of lifestyle here. I'm not into materialism.  The worst thing here IS the tv and I can and have finally turned that off. BUT..I don't want Isabelle hating her life here and wishing she were at her Dads with all the constant buying they do. She's totally blinded at what life is really about, and I know it's hard to explain that to a TV and "stuff" obsessed 6 year old. I truly believe she is way too young to be so wrapped up in material things....and I want to put a stop to it...but I can't control what happens at her Dad's house, I can only control what happens here.

My goal is to show Isabelle that life is not about having stuff, or watching tv all day. I would love to see her learn to have an imagination that's HERS and not someone else's.

Any advice?

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{ 09:33 , Sunday, February 17, 2008 } { Posted by Kitty }

First let me say that I am 45 and I love Hannah Montanna, LOL. There really is a lot worse stuff she could be watching.
You should have her earn her TV hours with chores or what not. The same thing with her "wants". We are not rich people by no means of the word, so my kids grew up working for their "wants". I provided the needs, they earned the wants. Today they are 24 and 25 and very responsible adults who know the meaning of money. Good luck with it all..........Kitty

Edited by Kitty on Sunday, February 17, 2008 at 08:34

I've walked in your footsteps!

{ 09:56 , Sunday, February 17, 2008 } { Posted by connielj }

I, too, had a situation where my two oldest kiddos were at their dad's where the rules, beliefs, etc. were different. I, too, panicked that the kids would rather be at their dad's where they got to stay up late (and alone too often), eat take-out and fast food, have "things" given to them vs. time with their dad, etc. My mom gave me some very good advice. She reminded me that I am their mother and no matter what their dad bribes them with, they will always want to be with me and love me.

So first of all, trust the fact that your daughter will always love you and want you. Even at 6 years old she knows that you are offering the more valuable "things" within your home. Secondly, the TV thing can be beat!

My DS#2 is very active and demanding and a behavioral handful so we tended to allow more TV than necessary just to save our sanity. BUT, he has started to wean himself off of it. (He's almost 9.) We didn't like a lot of the content on TV but the worst was the commercials. To combat that we allowed PBS only throughout the day. He had to earn 30-minute increments of Nick or other broadcast shows (up to two hours). We used poker chips for each 30 minute chunk. We also allowed videos and DVDs (of our choice!) because our main concern was the commercial impact. He is very happy to watch the same DVD over and over again. As a matter of fact, as of last week we have finally put Little Drummer Boy back on the shelf. Talk about extending the holiday season!

That was how we started weaning Jack off of all-day TV and now he will watch on occasion but prefers to watch DVD's on our mini-player while laying on his bed. AND, with his huge activity level, he only lays on his bed when he's about done for the day. He rarely sits in the family room watching TV anymore.

I know what you're talking about when you say your daughter walks around like a zombie. There were days Jack would aimlessly walk around with "nothing to do". But hang in there! It will get better.

As for the Disneyland atmosphere at her dad's house...I used to tell my kids how great it was that they got to have a super mini-vacation every other week. By reframing the time at their dad's as a "vacation" they began to see that real life isn't like that. Each of my older kids are on their own, working hard for their money and doing well. By the way, (please don't take this wrong...I don't mean to sound competitive with my ex) I'm the first one the kids call with good news, bad news, or in-between news. They know that I can be counted on to be there emotionally. They don't have that same type of trust with their dad.

Blessings to you and your family. (PS -- I love the reference to your boy as "Tom Sawyer"!)

Connie

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{ 12:28 , Monday, February 18, 2008 } { Posted by haflinger }

Well Hope I'm not to had here..I would set some ground rulers you do chores you get some TV after school work is over and give them like an hour a night. Between supper,,chores and help clean up can't be must time left..I would stanf firm on it..Its called stuff love..
BLessings haflinger/Sister Brenda

Edited by haflinger on Sunday, February 17, 2008 at 11:28

Thank you!!

{ 09:36 , Monday, February 18, 2008 } { Posted by Barefootcountrygirl }

Thank you so much everyone!!! Great advice and Kitty..I have to say I love Hannah Montana too! You're right, there COULD be worse stuff! Thanks!

Connie, you really made my day!! Thank you for investing so much time and wow, it all made so much sense!

Haflinger great advice! Thank you!!

HUGS!!

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{ 01:10 , Thursday, March 20, 2008 } { Posted by Anonymous }

just wanted to say that my daughter is 6 too and loves Hannah Montana, and would also watch TV all day long if I let her. I also am trying to wean off too much TV. I let she and her sister slip into watching too much after I had baby son last year.....

I would say, don't forget to give yourself some grace, give yourself a break. If you are like me, you are way too hard on yourself in this area.

You will be able to think of creative ways to help her wean off of TV some and learn to use her imagination and also occasionally enjoy shows like Hannah Montana. Don't forget that God chose you to be her Mama and I think He did that for a reason. You know her best and He has equipped you to handle this and 10,000 other things concerning her :)

(i guess i should be telling myself that too, ha ha)
http://kittenyarn.blogspot.com/

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{ 09:47 , Thursday, May 29, 2008 } { Posted by Anonymous }

Your the one who is divorced yet you worry about your child watching t.v. Sounds like you are jelous of what she has at her dads house and her can''t afford to give it to her so you are using him as an out.

You asked her about Tom Sawyer the child is a 6 year old girl, who gives a rat ass if she knows him or not.

Ummm..hello....Idiot Alert!

{ 01:12 , Monday, July 28, 2008 } { Posted by Barefootcountrygirl }

OK "Miss Anonymous"....or whoever you are who doesn't have the courage to use your real ID.

First off, learn to SPELL..secondly, learn to READ...I am divorced and re-married, Third, I CAN afford to give Isabelle all the "stuff", but there is a difference between voluntary simplicity and poverty. Fourth, I did not DISCUSS Tom Sawyer to my daughter, I used it as a referance about my SON.

Now who is the ass?

Go back to bed, little kid.