Everything had been going well. On the eve of January 11th however, I became very ill. It was unbearable. I was unable to read Scripture to the children and was so disappointed. This sickness lasted almost 2 weeks and it still lingered. Some happy things came out of this. Through some trials, somehow, my husband decided that I no longer needed to work at our store at night. So I have been home completely and totally! What a blessing! This stunned me because I thought of a post I wrote here last year. I said that I wanted to just be home and not mixed among the ungodly and see what came of it (in regard to spiritual quietness, renewal and writing). And now it has come to pass........ All I have to do is our bookkeeping here at home.

   I had been feeling very bad physically, cast down and undergoing some pruning. Was I wasting time? I wrote an article, "Called to Die?" And sent it to a magazine for possible publication. If they don't print it, I will post it on my website and share the link here. It has to do with the intensity, in which I feel God is pleading with me to do His work and how much I want to run away from it.........

    Joy then came. I was feeling better, accomplishing a lot, and very much at peace...... Then I started noticing problems with my legs. They were not cooperating with me...... Exactly one week ago, I collapsed. Yet I continued to attempt to walk and do what I needed to do, but my body gave out. I had taken a walk across the street to our store with Amy (12) and by the time we started to head back home, she was holding me up with all the strength she could muster. I ended up completely bedridden. My legs would not work. My feet were sore, swollen and "burning." My legs hurt. I rested and just read and Mothered from the couch. The children got out my crutches and I had to use them to get around. (I have had them for about 6 years for times like these). One night, I hobbled over to the stairs leading to Nicole's (17) room to tell her some news. (her room is on the third floor). Then I had to call her to come down. I needed help. I couldn't get back to the couch. My child carried me and carefully laid me down on that couch. .........

    Matthew (14), helps me up and down the stairs on the rare occasion I have to do something on my computer (like printing out a payroll check for our employee at the store, etc). I can't make it on my own. I tried using the crutches to go up and down the stairs (there are 15 stairs), but it exhausted me and I feared I would fall.

     The children have taken over all the meals and housekeeping. I am losing weight (grins). They don't always cook things I like to eat (gentle smiles).... But they do, tenderly care for me and dutifully provide me with my much loved hot chocolate.

    Yesterday was the holy Sabbath. I chose to completely relax on the couch all day, I wouldn't do any bookkeeping for the store. I would just rest all day. This helped. I can feel that I am healing. Today I spent most of the day resting and just now felt very somber and sad and wanted to get my mind off things so I came downstairs (with Matthew's help) and began to write here.

   I will be okay.......... All will be well........ Thank you Andrea for caring....... Love and hugs,

Mrs. White