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so long for me to get back but my dear hubby is quite sick with pancreas cancer and on palliative care- my days and nights are quite busy
I try to share my journals on a more consistant base- here is today's
- had a sleepy morning and missed the alarm but did get up anyway- heard the grand daughter shut it off--gal after my own heart
- David was up quite early but kind of moves about quietly- he or a mouse get up every night and take a dish of something into his room - that is ok as whenever he can eat it is a good thing-
- a tiring day or maybe it was because I was tired but every thing was an effort to do
- company this afternoon
- some one some how snuck a unbaked apple pie into our freezer but I cannot for the life of me guess who but I do know I am baking it tomorrow :-)
- I really missed my man today that I knew before- but I love this new man too but sometimes I just want my old papa David back- sigh- I am praying for strength to look only forward right now and let the past go- I will always love both of my man as I know he loves me but oh, how I wish we had another day of just not knowing about the cancer - it seems that the day the doctor told us which was Dec.19 -2007 was the day he got cancer but of course I know that he had it long before the doctor told us that day but that date will always stand out in our memories
- David vacuumed today although it took him a long time and it is kind of patchy it will be a good memory
- I am blessed that I can have David at home even if he is a stranger at times- he is a good kind stranger-
- the family except for Ashley are slowly drifting away- I guess they do not know what to do for the new papa- sigh
- good friends took us to the city yesterday for Easter dinner- I do not know what we would do if we did not have them to lean on-----or be with
- please do not misunderstand me as I love the new man as much or more than the old man and many parts of the old man are still in the new man but oh, I do miss our gay times together -
- on the other side of the coin I think I have had to grow strong fast and I am much stronger than I ever believed I could be
- The Lord has give each of us much in this situation
- we can still laugh together especially at some of those funny things that dear papa does now and then
- we can still cry together as we talk about the past and the future and how the presence is
- pray for us to continue this journey with much love and time and that our steps together will not falter
- I am learning to :
Recognize the joy that comes from the simple things in life like a smile, a hug,
or a good meal. Lord, help me think about the good things in my life and
how my life would change without them.
my strength for today:
"Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal; but
I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.
Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I
do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I
press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ
Jesus." ~Philippians 3:12-14
HUGGLES ME,
(Meme)
*PAPA'S WIFE*
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