|
CHOSEN...a prayer
Oh, Jesus, I fail so much. I am not the mother I dreamed I would be. I carry the image of her with me in my mind and often wonder why she can be so hard to find.
She is beautiful. Some days I feel ugly from the inside out.
She is patient. Some days I have shouted at my sweet children before it is 7 am.
She is loving. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I want to run away and never come back. I get too focused on myself to love-wondering if I will ever matter?
She is centered and always has her priorities in line. I can go from desperately wanting a quiet, clean and orderly house, so much that I turn into a drill sergeant, wishing my children would hurry up and grow to be more responsible, and in the very next moment crumble at the overwhelming joy these small children bring to my life, a joy so staggering I wish I could make time stand still.
She has all the answers and always knows just what to say. Sometimes I think my brain will burst from all the questions these children are looking to me to answer. Jesus, they are so bright they amaze me and sometimes I am too tired to answer and sometimes I wonder if I have what it takes to teach them all they will need to make it in this world.
She is godly. Some days I don't read my Bible and sometimes I fall asleep when I pray. Sometimes I forget these children are watching and I lead them the wrong way.
She has well behaved children and others notice and admire her for her mothering. Sometimes I am embarrassed by my children's behavior and the things that they say. When they fight with one another, hitting, screaming, and calling each other names, when they disobey in public-or are rude in front of others. Sometimes I worry that others are watching and thinking I am not a good mother.
She remembers everything. Sometimes I can't remember the words I need to finish my sentence or which day I signed up to work in preschool, or when my sister-in-laws birthday is, who walked at 10 months and who at 9?-and where is that paper I wrote it all down on? Oh, Jesus! Please don't let me forget the way their sweet, newborn breath felt upon my neck.
She is certain of the future. Some days I worry that I don't have the ability to get us through the dinner hour-healthy, whole, and still loving one another-let alone until tomorrow. Sometimes who they are becoming worries me and I wonder if this is a result of my failings, who will they be when they're grown, will they grow old, will they still love me? Some days I think Jesus, couldn't you have chosen another?
(This prayer was written and read by Laura Pickett at our MOPS 2005 Christmas tea. It was so powerful, and touched so many moms there. After this, moms were given the opportunity to come up and share. A sweet young pregnant mom came forward. She was touched to the point of tears, and shared that she had never been part of an organization like MOPS, and was so grateful. She also had just moved here from New Orleans, due to the aftermath and losses of Hurricane Katrina. It was such a touching moment! Just as Mary was chosen to be the mother of Jesus and to raise Him to fulfill His unique God given purpose, we are not different, our call is the very same. We have been CHOSEN by God to be the mother of our children. It is our call to raise them to fulfill their unique God given purpose. No matter what our mommy dreams are, or our own agendas, these children are God's children. We have simply been CHOSEN to fulfill God's divine purpose, just like Mary.)
|
Comments
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by Anonymous