Let me just begin by saying to all who read this: it is not my intention to offend any woman who works a full time job outside the home and
maintains all the duties of a wife, mother and homemaker. I have great respect for women who can manage all of these things and many friends who do all of this very well. However, for me, balancing all of those duties was not working out well. I am sharing the path the Lord has led me down once I truly started seeking His will for my life and His plan for my life. Each day brings some type of new revelation. I feel like a caterpillar coming out of a cocoon.
After 15 years of working in the world of banking, having a child, living in a failing marriage that ended in divorce, and then re-marrying 2 years later I was blessed to be able to stay home with my son and begin to call myself a Homemaker. Little did I know that I had no clue what that actually meant.
Once I had been home for about a month I began to realize that even though I knew how to cook well, clean house, and care for my child and husband, I had no idea how to "stay at home". I had to begin a new learning process. Thankfully, I knew the Lord and had been praying for Him to restore my walk with Him and draw me close. He did just that. He led me to a new church home where the majority of families had stay at home moms/wives. As I started getting to know them I could see a difference in them that I wanted to be in me. They enjoyed caring for their homes and had a passion for this like I had never seen. They were frugal but lacked nothing. It has taken me four years to re-train myself and my thinking. I also learned through this time that I had been raising my son with secular parenting advice instead of Biblical guidelines. So, I have had to do much re-training with my son as well.
My husband and I have been blessed with another child. But it has been a long, hard road for me. I was used to scheduling business meetings, eating on the run, getting take out if I didn't "have time" to cook, and buying convenience foods to prepare at home. Well, when you cut out an income, lifestyle changes.
This entire year I have been feeling the need to simplify our lives. Last year I wanted a sewing machine for unexplainable reasons and have begun to teach myself to sew. The Lord has blessed me with the ability to remember so much of what my Grandma taught me though in the days when I could have cared less. Thank goodness for Grandma's perseverance. I have always wanted to garden and have grown my own veggies for several years, but now I want a bigger space and I want to be able to take things to the Farmers Market. Scaling down on "things" in my home has become a priority. We started homeschooling our son this year and will be bringing our daughter in as a pre-schooler in Jan 2007. I plan menus, cut coupons, make extra for freezing, no longer buy convenience foods, cut my son and husbands hair for them, and many other things I never dreamed I would do. I have been so overwhelmed and feeling like I was going overboard with some of the changes I desire to make and then I found homesteadblogger.com after joining homeschoolblogger.com. After reading blogs such as New Harvest Homestead, Urban Homemaker, HomeMadeSimplicity I have realized what is going on inside of me. The Lord is changing me. He is changing me to be what He created me to be. All the years before I was making myself into what I wanted to be, or what I thought I wanted to be. Well, I and me don't fit very well into God's plan. It is all about Him, Jesus. I have been feeling so out of sorts and wondering where all these feelings are coming from. They haven't been bad feelings....I am enjoying life more now than ever. My dream is to live on several acres and have a small farm and be less dependant on this world. Currently we do live in town but are blessed to be in an older neighborhood with a very large corner lot, plenty of room to garden and play.
I have read Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 in the past but it is just now that these scriptures have brought revelation to me. I guess it's because I have opened my heart more to allowing the Lord to show me these things instead of trying to be an "independant woman". I am becoming a woman who is dependant on the Lord for everything. When you submit yourself completely to the Lord, He can show you His will for your life. I wasn't suppose to be doing what others were doing. Guess what, I am discovering that.....
I AM NORMAL! I am becoming what God intended for me to be. I am a Worshipper, Wife, Mother and Homemaker.
Romans 12:2
Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.
Comments
Saturday, December 23, 2006 - Have a Merry Christmas
Posted by justme
I too find it hard to be a homemaker or SAHM. I always said that I wouldn't have kids if I couldn't stay at home with them and I have to say staying at home is hard. I'm happy staying at home with my kids but it is would be so much simpiler if I could send them to someone elses house for part of a day. God made us for work not to nag or complain. May God Bless you, Donna