Far Above Rubies

I am such A Big Fool

{ 06:23, 2006-Oct-8 } { Posted in Ramblings } { 6 comments } { Link }

I have deleted my last entry.

Why?

I simply could not bear to see it there.

I indulged in the most destructive kind of selfish self pity, and all for nothing.

RECAP...in case you didn't read the entry I deleted: I went on and on about how I hate my birthday (October 7th) and how no one ever went out of their way to make it special or plan something big for me. I shamefully detailed how my husband had failed me on my birthday every year I have known him. The whole thing left me feeling icky.

YESTERDAY...Got up, and my husband did make a nice breakfast without me having to ask. I even got to sleep in a little. But the day got progressively worse. I just started feeling so sorry for myself and I was so sure that the whole day was going to be a bust. I was sure that if my husband had a card or a gift for me that he would have given it to me at breakfast, but that didn't happen, so my thoguhts got bigger and blacker. There was no mention of anything special to go on that day. I figured that my husband probably thought that since I didn't expect anything, he didn't have to DO anything.

Around 3:30 hubby left to go to a birthday party for a friend of ours at a nearby church. I selfishly refused to go, feeling very bitter that someone else was getting a party, and that my husband would dare go. I stayed home and sulked. Part way through, hubbycalled me and said, "Please won't you get dressed. We have to take Dominic (our oldest) to Bible Quizzers tonight and I'd like us all to go to dinner." I thought, well, I either go to dinner or I have to cook. Better get up and showered and dressed. So I did.

Hubby came home shortly after 5, and urged me to hurry because my hair was still wet, so I hurried, and we all piled in the car. We pulled up at a new Chinese restaurant called Chin Chin, and I was even crabbier because I really wanted a steak, but I kept quiet. Upon getting out of the car, hubby said, "Oh no!" He had forgotten his wallet at home, so I rolled my eyes and we all got back in and headed back home to fetch it.

Upon arriving home, he sent Dominic inside to get the wallet. A few minutes passed, then he sent Zach in to find out what was taking Dommie so long. Another minute or so. He said, "Darn it, what's the matter with those two? I'll be right back. He went inside, came out a minute later, and said to me, "Can you believe it? They were fighting over a toy instead of fetching my wallet! They're going to stand in the corner and eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner. We can get something later. I thought, that figures.

Meanwhile, my mom, her friend, and my brother, James, come walking up. My mom had a gift with her. It didn't even register with me that they came walking around the corner on foot and weren't in her truck. Chas said, "Oh, the jig is up!" But I had no clue what he was talking about. At this point I figured, well, this is it. no dinner out, no nothing. At least my mom brought me a present. I said to them, "Come in, come in."

I walked inside, and..............................

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My livingroom and kitchen were completely covered in pink streamers, banners, flowers, the coffe table was piled with gifts, and all our friends from church had crowded into our tiny house and shouted the greeting when I walked in. There was a huge cake on the kitchen table.

My shock must have been evident. I looked at my husband and he said, "Did you know?" And I told him I really didn't! And honestly, I had NO clue whatsoever. Our friends must have been waiting for us to leave and rushed in to decorate the second we left for the restaurant. At that moment, I felt a mix of total happiness and total shamed for the way I acted toward my husband. This was no last minute party...he had been planning it for weeks, long before my self pity stupor set in.

I recieved some wonderful gifts. From my mom, 2 lovely maternity blouses, from our friend the Cooks a gift card to Borders Books, from our friends the Andersens a gift card to the new Kohl's department store, from our friends the Goffs a gift card for the Coldstone Creamery...let's see, a big box of gourmet truffles from our friend Sharlene, and a mini-spa set from the Lehmans. But best of all was what my husband gave me- 2 wonderful gifts- a new Kodak Easy Share digital camera, and a new wedding ring! It was a ring I had picked out over a year ago, and we wrote down my ring size and the ring style. We could not get it then, but my husband kept that card, and ordered the ring for my birthday. I needed a new one because the set my grandma had given me was too small, and also an heirloom with many small diamonds and one big one. I was afraid of losing it or having a diamond pop out, and I wanted a plain band, white gold to match my husband's. It's beautiful.

Anyway, it was short party! We had to get going to have dinner and get Dominic to church. The Cooks volunteered to take him and his brother, so Chas and I and the baby went to dinner at Applebee's (I had my steak after all).

So that was my birthday. The day started out dismally and turned out to be the best birthday I ever had. I apologized profusely and continuously to my dear husband for how I acted, and he forgave me of course. It still might take me awhile to get over my embarassment, though.

And of course I took it all to God that night, thanking him for these people tha love me, and asking him to change my heart to one of self sacrifice instead of the selfish heart I have. I know I can count on His help.

I can't wait to see what the year brings.

{ Post a Comment }

How sweet!

{ 07:48, 2006-Oct-8 } { Posted by matsmom97 }
I read (and commented on) your other post and I"m so happy for you! What a wonderful birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday!

{ 10:53, 2006-Oct-8 } { Posted by SofteningClay }
Yesterday, the 7th, was also my husband's birthday. He turned 32 and we had a surprise party for him. His brothers all came down and he had a great time. I am glad that you had a good birthday.

Yippee!!!

{ 08:18, 2006-Oct-9 } { Posted by vickigg97 }
Oh, Shannon . . . words can't express the joy I felt when reading this post. I'm so thrilled for you. Happy, Happy Birthday, sweetie!!!

How Awesome

{ 10:00, 2006-Oct-9 } { Posted by tnmountaingirly }
I am so happy your birthday turned out great. And thank you for the kind words of encouragement you left for me. I love blogging and I especailly love the friends that I have made while doing so. When I read there words of encouragement it makes my day a little brighter.
Blessings
Beverly

Yay!

{ 03:48, 2006-Oct-9 } { Posted by Hisirishgem }
God just knows our every desire! Thanks so much for the learning experience.

Rebekah

I'm so glad.....

{ 05:22, 2006-Oct-9 } { Posted by Darcy }
that your birthday turned out to be so much better than you had expected. I'll bet the look on your face when everyone yelled surprise was just priceless :).
Darcy