Cow Soap Opera

Posted on Wednesday 23 May 2007 at 04:46

I'm sure if Cow Patty could write her own version of her first week with us, it would sound something like this:

Thursday: The saga of how these twerpy people dragged me away from my home and I nearly fell out of their half-rotten plywood trailer.

Friday: Ugh. That dumb woman does not know how to milk, and I'm stuck with her all weekend.

Saturday: The owly man is even worse. I kicked because the dumb woman made me so sore, and he threw a total tantrum, kicked me right back and roped me to the rail.

Sunday: Well, at least the dumb woman made a herbal balm and put it on my chapped teats. She's still hopeless, though. And, can you believe it??? NO CHOP. Good grief, and they expect me to let down the milk.

Monday: Well, my kicking technique is improving. I knocked the owly man's milk pail over when he came to milk me after his night shift. Of course, then he hobbled me and insisted he wasn't leaving till I replaced the milk I spilled. But he made up for it when he installed my own radio for me, so I can listen to the country station, just like back at home.

Tuesday: Holy cow! These people are crazy! I don't know where they took Baby, but then both of them sat down to milk at the same time, one on each side! It made me so antsy, not knowing where Baby was the whole time. But at least they finally got some chop.

Wednesday morning: I spent the night outdoors. The grass is so refreshing. That dumb woman delayed and delayed with the morning milking, and then she swore like a sailor when I took the wrong turn to get to Baby and got stuck behind the far pen. She roped me, and when I went to see Baby, she locked me up in that barbaric jail again. I tried not to let her catch me in the squeeze gate, and she called me another name.

Wednesday afternoon: I figured out what they've been doing with Baby. It's absolutely pernicious! He needs to get new friends. I did not approve the ones he's been running around with. I saw him over the fence with the boy who sings to me, and I managed to push the wire down, but by the time I got there they'd hidden him from me again. I ran after them all the way to the house, but they disappeared inside, screaming like a pack of banshees.

Stewpid on the Garden Bridge (thank you, Spazzerific)

Cow Patty, in Jail Again

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Posted by morningsunshine on Wednesday 23 May 2007 at 06:54 - Link

man, what a life! I agree, Patty, those friends of baby's are leading him down bad paths.....

Edited by morningsunshine on Wednesday 23 May 2007 at 07:55

That was funny!

Posted by MrsBurns on Wednesday 30 May 2007 at 11:08 - Link

What an adventure! You must keep us posted. I am a bit envious.....I'd love to have a milk cow and a steak and brisket calf myself, but we have no fencing up to handle them. And Mike is insisting on trying out pigs first. Anyway,love the story and I'll check back on butter (hmmm....butter). Denise

That was funny!

Posted by MrsBurns on Wednesday 30 May 2007 at 11:09 - Link

What an adventure! You must keep us posted. I am a bit envious.....I'd love to have a milk cow and a steak and brisket calf myself, but we have no fencing up to handle them. And Mike is insisting on trying out pigs first. Anyway,love the story and I'll check back on butter (hmmm....butter). Denise

Edited by MrsBurns on Thursday 31 May 2007 at 12:09