Keeper of the Home - What is a Gentleman? And, Where are they?

Friday, June 6, 2008

What is a Gentleman? And, Where are they?

1. In its most extensive sense, in Great Britain, every man above the rank of yeomen, comprehending noblemen. In a more limited sense, a man, who without a title,bears a coat of arms, or whose ancestors have been freemen. In this sense, gentlemen hold a middle rank between the nobility and yeomanry.

2. In the United States, where titles and distinctions of rank do not exist, the term is applied to men of education and of good breeding, of every occupation. Indeed this is also the popular practice in Great Britain. Hence,

3. A man of good breeding, politeness, and civil manners, as distinguished from the vulgar and clownish.

A plowman on his legs is higher than a gentleman on his knees.

4. A term of complaisance. In the plural,the appellation by which men are addressed in popular assemblies,whatever may be their condition or character.

5. In Great Britain, the servant of a man of rank, who attends his person.

In my last post I mentioned I have just finished watching PBS's Jane Austen series. In the scene of "Pride and Prejudice" where Mr. Darcy and Miss Bennett are walking down a country lane. He makes mention of a time when she said he was not of gentleman-like behavior. So, that made me think (yes, scary, I know) of what is the difference between Britain's version of Gentleman and the traditional Southern version of Gentleman (genteel). Above is what is Webster's definition of Gentleman. Here is the definition of Genteel:

1. Polite; well bred; easy and graceful in manners or behavior; having the manners of well bred people; as genteel company; genteel guests.

2. Polite; easy and graceful; becoming well bred persons; as genteel manners or behavior; a genteel address.

3. Graceful in mein or form; elegant; as the lady has a genteel person.

4. Elegantly dressed.

5. Decorous; refined; free from any thing low or vulgar; as genteel comedy.

My next thought is so if you are not born into nobility or wealth whether in England's great manors or a Southern plantation does that mean that a male is not to be a gentleman? I think not. I think that being a gentleman entails a bit of those things above. I think some men have more of the constitution of being a gentleman than others. Some men are just plain rowdy. Well, that's fine out on the field, however, in front of women and children it is imperative that they behave like a gentleman.

Now that we have (or at least in my mind) decided that any male can be a gentleman let's talk about how as Mother's of boys we can encourage behavior in this 21st century. First of all, I think it is important for their Father's to have good manners and really try to encourage their sons to do the same. It is important from a very young age to teach these boys to be polite, yet yearn to have knowledge on everything of value. Reading books such as "I Have Two Mommies" will not bring them the knowledge needed in becoming gentleman. Little boys should be focusing on their adventures and honestly, in saving their sisters from crocodiles and putting the little girls first. If my boys are going with me I wait for them to open the door for me.

My son's have been, and will continue to be, taught that women are to be revered. For instance, my 10 year old son was playing with a friend from school and her little sister in our little wooded area behind our home. The girls' ball got stuck in some branches. My son came in with a scratch on him and I asked how he got it. He said he had to be the man and get the ball for them. I was so pleased and said that's my little gentleman. I told him that someday he will make an excellent husband by being protective and caring towards his wife.

Now that I've shared how I am trying to instill gentleman like behavior in my son's, my question is how can I ensure that this behavior will continue once they are out of my reach? Also, what have you done to try to make sure your boys are gentleman and your daughters are gentlewomen? Last, What do you consider being a gentleman/genteel man and is it necessary?

~Farrah

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Comments

Friday, June 6, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Kitty

Like your title says, where are they? I have a 25 year old dd who is very attractive in todays standards. I on the other hand am overweight and wear glasses, (Im ok with this tho, my dh likes me so Im ok lol) and when my daughter and I are in town together it's like Im not even there. I have so many times felt this way, invisible, because of men. When walking into Walmart once, she was ahead of me and a "man" held the door open for her, then proceded to let it go in my face. Another time we were crossing the parking lot where a car, with guys in it, stopped for her but not me. This has happened several times to me, even without my daughter. I have two sons whom I have told over and over again, treat all women with respect as you would want your mother, daughter or wife treated. It is really a shame that some "men" find it hard to be nice to women who aren't pretty or thin. But thats ok, cuz I can open my own door and if you hit me with your car, I'm probably going to do a lot of damage. LOL LOL...........Great post............Kitty

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Saturday, June 7, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by stitchnchick

First of all, Kitty, you are a hoot! LOL

Secondly, I believe we have a tough job raising boys (or girls for that matter) with just basic manners in today's culture. It's absolutely a lost art! I continue to be shocked. Just the other night, we were in a CPR class (with a group of six teens) and the girls sat and talked and texted as the instructor was talking! I was nice, but leaned up to let them know that they needed to pay attention. I'm not sure they appreciated that! lol

I have worked very hard with my sons and I do get feedback from others when we are in public. Not long ago, we were at a restaurant and my middle son said "please and thank you" when asking for and receiving a refill on his drink. The waiter looked at us, absolutely stunned and said,"You have a very polite son. I NEVER hear this from other kids!" What?! That was just the most basic of manners...only "please and thank you"... and yet he never hears it! I was really shocked.

The saddest part to me is how many adults behave. I sure wish we could go back to the days when folks knew what to do-- but at least I'm trying to do my part with my own. We have "practiced" introductions, answering the phone, and other things so that the boys will know what to do.

On another note~ thank you for being so sweet to come visit me and check in on me. I really need to update my blog more, but we've been so busy this season. I'm trying to enjoy every minute. :-)

Amy

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