A Brand New Me

The Meeting- download

As planned, Mr. Steady and I met with our Pastor yesterday evening.
As to be expected, my pastor was understandably surprised that I desire to step down from youth ministry.
When we presented him with our proposal of working less hours (which by the way was extremely difficult to come up with and instead of it being a 10 hour proposal it was a 12 hour proposal which was really a 14 hour proposal without 2 hours on--- extremely difficult for me to find a way to be productive and effective on 10 hours- impossible really to do what needs doing . . . .). He did not accept the proposal because he felt I was cheating myself because I would continue to work the hours anyway. He wanted to clarify to me that I am salaried and that means if it takes 5 hours or 10 hours or 30 hours to do what I do my pay remains the same. He asked that I stop worrying about the hours. He also wanted to ease my mind about the money- that the church is becoming more financially stable with the pay cuts already in affect and some other changes and there is no need for me to take less pay to do the same amount of work.
Mr. Steady explained that I can’t do the same amount of work and he and Pastor discussed what Pastor wants to see in the ministry and what I have been doing- which according to my pastor was above and beyond. He encouraged me to cut back and not worry. He also encouraged me that when others in the church give me flack that I should let it go and/or forward them to him- telling the person(s) “Pastor and I have discussed this and you can take it up with him.”
Pastor was hoping by alleviating some of the stress of hours and pay and other people’s expectations that I would “keep on keeping on” but Mr. Steady and I remained firm on the fact that God is calling me to step down. I shared that I have been feeling this nudge from the Lord for months but felt I needed more clarity from the Lord and He has now given that clarity to me.
I could tell from snippets and body language that my pastor is concerned with how they will replace me. I shared that I felt God would fill the position. It has to be God- not just because the church is so low on volunteers you couldn’t get someone to hold a door open or because the church really can’t financially afford to bring someone in (as they would definitely want more money than I am making)- it’s not about those seemingly insurmountable obstacles- it has to be God-led no matter what. I have to believe that God’s will will be done and am praying for him to send someone.
How the meeting ended: My pastor would not accept a formal resignation but acknowledged that I want to phase out of paid ministry by early May. We both want my last few months as youth ministries director to be joyful- that I would spend time teaching and enjoying the kids and with that in mind, He asked that this stay between us at this point and not involve the church board as he feels it will quickly leak out and do harm to the youth ministry during the transition. He stated that I did my part and it is now in his hands to see it through (which I take to mean finding a replacement?).
So this is a beginning to an end. I have to say that I still have questions and concerns about how the next few months will go and just how this is going to end but I am doing my best to set that aside and remind myself that God is in charge, not me. I’m not borrowing worry for the next 4 months, but want to do as directed- teach and enjoy.
Harder said than done for me.
Just one more thing that God wants to work in me is my guess.
And so- should you ask, “Do you feel relieved? A great weight lifted off of you?”
Umm.
Yes.
and No.
But God is God
And I’m more than okay with that.

Being Available.

Pastor preached yesterday on being available to God for Him to use. And it stuck in my thoughts all the day long. I mulled it over, I chewed on it and I prayed and thought some more.
I believe many people need to be prodded to be available because of the shortage of volunteers that I see all around me. Few are doing the work of many and so much more needs to be done . . . . So we put out the call for others to step up and step in.
But what does it mean to me to be available? Rarely do I turn people down when help is needed- I’ve filled in the gaps at church in more places than I care to think. Some worked, some didn’t. But I felt I had to stick to the adage “See a need, fill a need.” I can’t think of how many times I’ve sighed in resignation and said, “Oh alright, if no one else is going to do it I guess I will.”
What kind of an attitude is that?
So I ask again what does it mean to me to be available?
My thoughts are running in an entirely different direction. I have kept myself so busy- doing what I thought was needed and necessary that I now find . . . . .
I haven’t been available.
I’ve been too busing DOING to be available.
Being Available is not synonymous with “Do, Do, Do”.
I got that part wrong.
God is calling me to Be Available.
To be free from other burdensome jobs/ministries/etc. in order to hear Him calling me.
I heard Him call me in the quiet yesterday afternoon.
He called me to
REST.
Simply rest.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” [Matthew 11:28-30]
I’ve been going about it all wrong and it took hitting the wall at warp speed and spending a few days trying to summon the energy to crawl out for me to begin to hear.
God isn’t always calling us to “do” something, sometimes He calls us to be quiet so He can speak to our hearts, so He can help heal.
I believe God calls people to times of rest.
I believe because I know He is calling me to such a time.
I’ve become dysfunctional.
I’ve become what I dreaded may happen when I began over seven years ago . . . .
All about the business and busyness and becoming lost to the quiet in the secret places.
Becoming a world-class “do-er” isn’t God’s design for me.
Super-woman-wife-mom-youth director-and-whatever-else-I-can-tack-on-to-show-the-world-that-I’ve-got-it-all-going-on is not the title God has in mind for me.
He just calls me to be His servant.
And He is calling this servant to a time of Rest.
Rest.
Restore.
Renew.
Revitalize.
Rebuild.
Refresh.
Rekindle.
Recharge.
God’s got a plan for me- and I now know it starts with stopping.
Be Available.

Amy Update

I continue to covet prayer and wish to extend my deepest gratitude to everyone who continues to lift up my prayer request. All the prayers lift me up and sustain me. Thank you.
Mr. Steady and I will be meeting with our pastor this Tuesday evening to give him our proposal of cutting down my hours (and pay). We will also be asking that the church board begin to actively seek a replacement for me. Our plan is that I be able to help see the youth ministry through this transition. We are setting a “time limit” stating that I would like to be phased out of paid youth ministry be early May.
This has been an extremely hard decision for me to make. And yet as things begin to come together to see the end- I am beginning to feel the release. I have never before been brought so low by a circumstance. I have never before not been able to bounce back.
BUT
It has been a most humbling experience.
I hit the wall.
And found God right there beside me.
I have cried buckets.
I have complained and whined to the Lord.
And I wasn’t afraid to do so- I know my God is bigger than my pain. Big enough to hear my whining.
Most definitely.
I have stepped back these past few days- I couldn’t do anything but.  I couldn’t “work” as I needed to- just how was I suppose to do more than the mechanics? Wednesday morning it took all my fortitude to get out of bed and face the day. I have never been a wallow-er and I felt that what I was doing was wallowing.
In pity, disgust, anger and despair.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
I cried out and said “I’m burning out! I can’t do this!” and felt that I wasn’t really heard.
But I was.
God heard me.
Mr. Steady heard me.
As did many others who lifted me up in mighty prayer.
Each day God met me right where I was at.
Each day got a little bit easier.
I have begun to experience the quiet again.
I believe God is giving me a cleaner, clearer vision.
The better to see my priorities with.
The better to see my family with.
The better to see myself with.
I love being “needed” and “necessary” but . . . . . .
It doesn’t matter how needed and necessary I am to others if I’m not delivering the goods here at home first and with my bestest most worthwhile effort.
I can no longer be split in two by ministry away from home and the ministry right here at home.
God has shown me time and time again that Home IS my ministry.
Period.
My prayer is that my pastor listens and begins to understand and accepts the proposal. Our church board’s monthly meeting is this Thursday evening and it is our desire to bring this proposal to the board at that meeting- the sooner “the cat is out of the bag” the sooner they can begin looking for a replacement and all the sooner for me to feel I can take a deep breath and am not squeezed in by the pressure to perform.
The sooner I can begin to rest.

Prayer request

crafts all types..

This looks pretty interesting.. here is a link to this craft site..

Enjoy:Blessings Brenda

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http://busymitts.com/

Happy New Year!

Would like to say have a Happy New Year and for those folks driving, please drive carefully and may god be with us all...

Blessings Brenda

Great site for knitting and crochet and looms

THis is a great site it has so much to offer right from beginner and so on..They will answer questions and have videos.. must see..

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 http://www.knittinghelp.com/

Still Waiting

Dear Friends,
Please continue to pray for me.
My current prayer request is not due to another financial hiccup but rather to me hitting the proverbial wall with all the plates of "Things I Do" that I've been spinning and balancing for years- I can't keep spinning them all.
I am wrung-out, worn-out and burned-out.
Mostly by the ministries I am involved in.
I asked for prayer because my husband and parents and I were having a meeting with my pastor.
And I had written my letter of resignation.
I do not know what else to say but that I am still in limbo. Still sitting in God's waiting room . . . . .
I did not resign.
Nor did I yet lose any of the heavy responsibilities I carry.
However, I was able to hear directly from my pastor that he supports me and appreciates me and the work I do. He does not want to allow me to step aside.
I was also able to bluntly say, "Something has to give. I am burning out. I am worn out. I can NOT do all this anymore."
Unfortunately no real resolution was made in how to ease my load.
Mr. Steady has since come up with a plan to speak with pastor about lowering my hours as youth director. And the future possibility of looking into someone else to take over.
I've been asked how I am feeling today.
I am numb.
I feel run over and then backed over.
I am in prayer. I am crying out to God that my steps remain walking in line with His.

Baby mitts

BABY MITTS INSTRUCTIONS (Flower Loom) Skill level: Beginner

Step 1: Using one strand of the blue yarn and one strand of the white yarn (holding them together as if they were one strand), wrap the 12 pegs according to the method shown in the Round Loom instructions.
Step 2: Wrap and “knit off” five rows of knitting, using the hook as shown in the Round Loom instructions.
Step 3a: Using the crochet hook, take the loop from the 1st peg and then from the 2nd peg.
Step 3b: Pull the 2nd loop through the 1st loop and place the loop back on the 2nd peg.
Step 3c: Take the loop from the 3rd peg and then from the 4th peg. Pull the 4th loop through the 3rd loop and place the loop back on the 4th peg.
Step 3d: Continue in this manner until you have taken the 12th loop through the 11th loop and placed the loop on the 12th peg. You will now have 6 loops on the loom.
Step 4: Wrap the loom 2 more times. Now some pegs will have 3 loops and others will have 2 loops. For the pegs that have 3 loops on them, knit the bottom 2 loops over the top loop. For the pegs that have 2 loops on them, knit the bottom loop over the top one, just like normal. When you are finished, there will only be one loop on each peg.
Step 5: Wrap and knit off 9 more rows. Thread the blue yarn needle with one strand of yarn, and sew the yarn through the loops on the pegs (pulling the loops off the pegs as you go). When you have sewn through all the pegs, pull the two ends of the yarn to gather the material and tie them in a tight square knot. (This is the same method you would use to finish a hat on the Round Loom.) Repeat Steps 1 – 5 to make a mitt for the other hand.
Step 6: You can string a ribbon through the holes in the top of the mitts or, using one strand of yarn, make an I Cord (see directions below) and put a pom-pom on each end to string through the holes. I Cord: Using any 2 pegs on any of the looms, wrap 2 loops on each peg in a figure 8 design. Take the bottom loop over the top loop and over the peg. Continue wrapping in the figure 8 and knitting over. This will form your I Cord.

Baby Booties

Got this from: Provo craft.

INSTRUCTIONS Skill level: Beginner