~ONE DAY AT A TIME~

LITTLE QUICK UPDATE!!!

I'll say it isn't good here, please keep me in your prayers and especially for my safety and wellbeing as well my service dog! I am not sure what is going to happen here honestly but something going to have too it isn't good and I am scared and also depressed and crying alot! I don't want to spend time with him at home and want to be away while he is home.

         I said earlier I have a service dog, well she is a rescue baby she is a labrador and her name is "Lady" I rescued her a day before she was to be put to sleep. 1 week later she alerted something was wrong with me and come to find out I am a diabetic!!  I have learned alot from the internet and books and tapes how to train her. She will be 5 in September!!!

              I need to go my medication is kicking in. First night in a while since I slept or started in the bed with my hubby. I hope I can make it a whole night and safely. Take care and will write when I can. It is hard when he is home and awake with his controlling and looking over my shoulder all the time.

                                     Denene

BACK BUT ONLY QUICKLY!!! CONTINUE OF VENT

Hubby isn't helping I clean and he turns around and gets things dirty, won't throw trash away. He puts tea bags in the sink and leaves them to stain the sink NOT under the sink in the trash!!! I have talked with him and he has smart remark and come back for it. Told him I am NOT his slave and or his Mother I am a wife and it stresses me out when I am trying to clean and keep the house cleaned. He won't say anything but he continues his ways!!!

           I am at totally wits ends he is in bed sleeping and I am up yet. I spend alot of nights up now he is sleeping trying to clean so he can dirty things when he gets up early in the morning or throughout tomorrow again. I hope to get a little sleep either with him or back on the couch where I spend alot of my nights it seems. Anyways, I'll try what was suggested but he is so set and he wasn't made to clean and his mother's house isn't by all means clean there are spider webs in the bathroom by the bathroom door that I can reach NASTY!!! The kitchen is furthest from clean as is the inside of the refrigerator though mine isn't clean but nothing like hers I believe!!! Anyways, I am going to try and lay down with him. If I end up again and not on the couch I will be back again online. Take Care and will try and keep you updated. I'll sneak online and update you!

                                        Denene

I have a service dog "Lady" and she knows things are tense and she comes and checks on me and keeps a eye on me knowing I am upset and when I cry she will come and put her head on my leg like she is having a pity party for me. It is so cute but if it wasn't for her I don't know what I would do or done I know something horrible.

FAST ENTRY (VENT TIME) SORRY!!!!

Fast entry, we got hooked on a game on myspace mobsters. It's alot of fun and addicting though. There is also problems in the house. I will say quickly before he gets in here that I am cleaning and he isn't helping the matter. I clean and he goes and gets things dirty and won't pick up after himself. This is the wife job I feel like a slave and can't get anywhere without his help. He is lazy and not working and not trying to hard to find a job either. I am so upset right now and been in here hiding and doing alot of crying too. I am so fed up!!!

            Well he will be in here anytime so I must close. I will write when he is in bed. Till then take care and write later!

                                      Denene

ALOT OF MISC.

  I lived in this house before we got married. I bought this house in 1991 and we got married in 2005. It has been my house and feels like myself yet more less.

          When we got married Don (My husband) would think we need things to survive a nucluar war and etc. Guns for protecting ourselves and a bunch of them and etc. We had trouble saving $ we didn't have our priorities right when he had a good job and we spent and foolishly.

            We are now I hope getting to where we are settling down more and seeing what we really need and want. I am going to talk with him about things like making this house more (OUR) home and making changes that WE want and need to make it best for us to feel more home and more comfortable and etc. It will feel more our home and less yet my home.

                     I would like to see fixing the house up painting, and making the rooms that are extra's a office and den area and also spare beds for family his that comes up once in awhile so they have a comfortable place to sleep. Fixing up and decorating and etc.

            I am ready to make it a home and settle down. I am going to start a job after being at home since 1991 after closing my childcare and being told I couldn't work due to my social security and medicare which is not true. I can work but limited on what I can earn. My family back when I was single was controlling me and my money because of me being disabled.

              I am a adult and can make decisions and mistakes but I learn eventually and I am ready to grow up since I never had a chance too and work and save and make a house a real home. I am so excited for the future.

                We are in big debt and paying the debts back is a big priority right now especially his mom. We will pay back and pay bills and hope save back for emergencies and save back to do things around the house we want and need too but also hope eventually we can take even if a cheaper honeymoon take one we never got one when we was married and had a trip away for "US" alone. We need to do this. We was going to go with his family to California what a honeymoon sharing a trip and room with his family and motel.

             I'll keep you updated on things. This is a big step for me and I am feeling so more mature and responsible. I don't know what happened but I was watching some shows on cleaning house and some other shows last night and today and they have really changed me.

          Must close but will write as soon as I can. Take Care!

                                         Denene

Little Accomplished but big for me!!!

My husband has been gone to Truck driver's school for 4 weeks in Missouri, then on a truck for a week. He didn't make it very long and didn't honestly think he would!!!

      He is home and trying but not to hard for a job. We are having real $ problems and owe his mom over $1,600. We have to get it paid by February so she can pay her property taxes!!

          I can work but have to come up wtih $ to get the right color and kind of shirt and pants! Till then I am working on the house!

            Today I did get the bedroom started not finished but for me alot considering I have a back injury and it is hard and very painful to bend down and reach down, vacuum and move furniture. I am so glad that the bigger of the things are done except the bed but it is on wheels so it will be easier to move.

              I have more to do and hope to get some if not all of it done yet tonight somehow. I have alot further to go but I had started to get stuff done and that accomplishment is gone the kitchen doesn't look anything like it did before he comes home. I'll have to clean it again and by then the bedroom will look like a disaster. Oh the glory of a wife. lol.

            Well I need to get over to see my mother at the nursing home then get home for the Nascar truck race. I'll try and go in the bedroom and clean during advertisements. Take Care and will try and write again as soon as I can.

                                             Denene